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Help I think my Boyfriend is Cheating on me!

Hi Uncle Mac,

I am 21 years old and my boyfriend is 26 and we have been together for almost two years. We live together and have done so for the last years. The problem is for the last three months my boyfriend has been acting strangely to me, and we hardly ever have sex anymore. We used to have sex almost every day but now I am lucky if we have sex once a month!

Every time his phone rings he walks out of the hosue to take the call. Uncle Mac what should I do? Is My boyfriend cheating on me?

These are some pretty strong warning signs that he’s over the relationship, whether he’s actually cheating on you or not, yet. But first, I’ll ask you if you’ve been paying him the kind of attention he needs? Relationship problems are almost always a two-way street. Have you been bitchy or overbearing towards him? Have you been trying to be sexy and alluring for him? If you have and he’s suddenly not giving up some dick more than once a month or so, then I smell a rat, or at least an immature boy who doesn’t have the balls to tell you it’s over and is stringing you along. I assume you’re paying your half of the bills? That may be hard for him to let go of.

I'd say it’s time to sit down and try to have a calm and honest discussion of where you both see your relationship going, an RRC (relationship reality check). Pick a time when he’s in a good mood, not tired, and not when you’re arguing already. Approach it from the angle of how the sex has dropped off and you are missing that closeness and intimacy. Ask him if you’ve been doing something wrong? Putting it that way will not make him defensive and will probably get him talking about his real feelings. Don’t accuse him of cheating if you don’t have any evidence (before that night, you could check his phone for calls he took when he stepped outside that evening, after he’s asleep, then later, discreetly check out who he’s calling a lot). But you can say that it feels like he’s not giving you ‘all his attention’ at home, let alone dick, which implies that you might suspect something. If he IS cheating, he’ll probably respond with a guilty look, or be overly defensive, at which point you should push for the truth, which will hurt, but it’s better to get it out in the open now.

Of course, he could just be distracted a lot lately and working too hard, but if he doesn’t need (for reception) to leave the house to use the phone, but is doing it a lot, then you have every right to think something sneaky is going on. And really, if that’s the case and he knows you know he doesn’t need to go outside, and he’s letting this other person call your house when you’re there, that’s pretty ballsy, isn’t it? It’s like he’s itchin’ for a confrontation. If you’re wanting to hide an affair, you don’t let “the other” call your house constantly with your lover sitting there while you step outside to plan your next rendezvous.

If he doesn’t admit to anything, has a good explanation for the phone calls and he says he loves you and wants to keep things going-- and promises to pay you more attention and give you more dick-- then give it time. See how he acts towards you for a while, and you put everything you can into making him happy, too. If he doesn’t shape up, then face the reality that the relationship is not worth it, and dump the bastard. Why waste your time with someone who doesn’t give you all his love? You need a man who will treat you right!

Good luck,
Uncle Mac

I Want Him All to Myself

Uncle Mac,

I’m in love with a hot looking, wonderful guy. We’ve been together for just over a year. He’s everything I want in a man and our love life is fantastic. He’s 28. I’m 24, just out of university. We’ve talked about a commitment ceremony and plan to move in together in a new place next month. He says I’m the love of his life. What’s my problem? Well……. He doesn’t want to be monogamous. He alway

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