Lucy at Doggy Day Care
Labels: beagle-lucy
I am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it!
Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
Get me
Labels: beagle-lucy
Sarah Palin must NEVER become Vice President, the women hold extraordinarily bigoted and dangerous views.
Forget about her opposition for a rape victim to have an abortion that's just bizarre.
Her Church where she has worshipped all of her life believes that gays can be converted to heterosexuality by the power of prayer.
This is horrible, all actual research confirms that all ex-gay ministries do is cause more psychological harm, increase the risk of suicide and doesn't actually get rid of same sex feelings it just tries to block them and replace them with prayer programmes.
Let's face it the replacement of Sex Ed classes with faith based abstinence programs certainly seems to have been successful in her own family haven't they!
If the Republicans win the election they could divert massive funding away (not that George Bush has not) from counselling services, awareness programs and give this money to faith based conversion programs.
I will be fair and say that as yet Sarah herself has not publicly stated her position, but her past actions in vetoing same sex equality legislation in Alaska has shown that she is not overly gay friendly.
She has in the past voiced opposition to providing equality for same sex couples but on the issue of conversion ministries we only have the policy of her church thus far.
Personally I don;t care if she says she does not support these things, she still supports organisations which do, which is akin to supporting the Nazi party but not supporting the policy of putting gays in concentration camps.
Extreme hatred and bigotry are not what the world and especially the United States people right now.
Labels: politics
Saturday nights around the area seem to be getting noisier than I remember, more shouting more throwing of bottles and more police sirens.
I'm curious whether any of the 'changes' around the strip have actually had an impact.
Next weekend it's the local council elections and I am totally torn by which way to vote. There are three major options:
Keep Clover
Dump Clover and go with Shayne Mallard (Liberal)
Dump Clover and go with Meredith Burgman (Labour)
I have a problem with all three options really, Clover has pissed me off by not doing enough or simply giving lip service to the fixing of Oxford street. Her support for the World Youth Day State Government funding certainly got my back up.
But then she tempered this by digging her heals in over the funding for the rejuvenation of Hyde party after the event.
On the plus side for Clover she is not aligned with either major party and if we can lobby her well enough we mat get significant changes.
As much as I like Shayne Mallard and many of the issues he champions, I will not support a political party who has people like David Clarke and Alex Hawke, two exceptionally nasty right wing anti gay bigots in the Liberal Party (and these are just a few).
Now Meredith Burgman I have some respect for but State Labour at the moment is in a total mess and I think Local Council labour and State Labour would be too close to each other so let's keep a healthy distance from each other.
So that leaves voting for Clover not because I want to support her per se, but because I do not want the other options.
Sigh
This political rant started all because of the increased noise and issues on Oxford street, which is a minor issue for the local council elections next week. I know there are far more pressing issues, like the over development of areas like the old CUB site down in Chippendale to the final design and development of the Bangaroo site on the harbours edge.
But Oxford street is my strip and it's my little baby.
Labels: politics
I hate this site Lifesite, they are a right wing Christian website that is consistently anti gay. In an article about the introduction of the Same Sex Entitlements Bill, LifeSite claims that the bill would allow polygamous relationships.
Because the to be in a same sex relationship you could technically still be in a common law marriage.
So they claim that it legalises Islamic polygamy.
So now we see the new argument against same sex relationship equality, and it's breathtakingly xenophobic and irrelevant.
The issue of course of how the Government (and all legal and statutory bodies) recognise a same sex relationship is not yet full debated and set. The problem is that the we are not getting civil unions or any type of 'register' where we can legally join our relationship.
Because civil unions are too close for the conservatives to marriage we are getting a subjective view of what is or is not a relationship.
The arguments used against the bill are spurious, however it raises the issue of what is considered to a be a recognised de-facto same sex relationship will still be open to interpretation by the courts.
Whilst the bill is int he right direction does it really give us what we need without either a civil union or legally recognised relationship 'register'?
Thank Freaking crap it's Friday!
I am so sick to death of this week and have zilch motivation to get anything done and I do mean anything.
I have just been trying to push along a project that is badly languishing (well needs to be complete by the end of the day), but it has been a total drain on me.
Anyway I have the full day to get on to this done so back to the coding horror that is my day!
I was too exhausted last night o get to the gym and I feel bad for only having been 4 times this week.
But I have my trainer this afternoon and that's always something to look forward too.
Labels: apartment, beagle-lucy
Ten years of pain and fear and what for?
Well I went to the Dentist this morning fool of fear, panic and anxiety. I woke at about 4 am even though I had already taken two temazapam.
I didn't feel too bad but did take an Ativan before leaving the house and then before going into the surgery.
And before anyone makes a comment I am prescribed them and I do know how to take them!
The Dentist was just delightful she soothed my fears told me exactly what was going on and kept giving me little breaks all during the scaling, cleaning, poking, prodding and temporary fillings.
I need a couple of more appointments in the coming weeks to do some actual proper fillings and to continue on in the cleaning of my teeth.
Having smoked for for years up until about 3 years ago there was a thick hard layer of black / brown calculus in between and on many of my teeth.
In my head this was actually my teeth decaying - yes I had really convinced myself of this! And I was convinced that A) I was going to have to have at least two or three teeth removed and B) it was going to be a hell of a lot more stressful.
In reality I know that the boy was talking to the Dentist first and we are going to address one issue at a time, IE the Dental phobia, then the cleaning of the teeth and gums, then the decay and then lastly the long term issue of a chronic dry mouth which has been causing receding gums.
But I am just totally amazed at the change in my mouth from one visit.
For years I have been a bit wary of smiling because I imagine everyone was looking at my hideous teeth. My confidence has suffered and I did often wonder when people were looking at my face whether they were looking at my teeth.
At the end of the session she gave me a mirror and said do you want to see, at first I was like no, I didn't want to because I hated looking at my teeth.
But she told me to look, and I was and am flabbergasted.
I feel so much better!
I kept on telling her that this experience with the Dentist was just so amazingly different than what I went through before.
My dental phobia stemmed from years of abuse by my previous Dentist, and I really mean abuse.
You see my Dentist was my cousin and I have been seeing him as my Dentist from about 14 or so. I was not the best of patients to begin with I was overly anxious and I did not practice a good flossing or brushing routine. This meant I had more problems than most people anyway.
My cousin was and is still a rather homophobic guy, and by about the age of 15 - 16 it was pretty apparent to everyone that I was gay. When I came out it was made really apparent that he was very homophobic and there were many snide remarks and general nastiness aimed at me by that side of the family.
Through years of neglect by the time I was in my late teens and early twenties my dental problems surfaced, coupled with three rounds of the skin treatment Roaccutane for acne my mouth dried up and I ended up with various cavities.
Each time I would go to my cousin there was this air of he really would have preferred me not to have been there. I also had a very very low dental pain threshold and even though I would tell him time and time again that the anaesthetic was not enough nothing was done.
There was always the question whenever I did visit the Dentist of when my last HIV test was which was insulting to say the least. Not all gay men have HIV you know and there is a moral obligation to tell a Dentist if you were positive anyway.
Anyway I digress.
I think from his point of view he was doing me a favour by seeing me at all, but to me there was never any explanation, there was just exasperated conversations where I was told that my mouth was a mess. And muttering to nurses and a general feeling of being 'handled'.
In fact in my early twenties I ended up in hospital with an enlarged tonsil that blocked my air way almost killing me, the cause at it turned out was an abscess on a wisdom tooth from a cavity. The cavity would have been totally obvious from xrays which had been taken by him several months before. This I never shoudl have had to go through what I had gone through.
But in either his haste or whatever to get me out of the surgery it was never looked at properly.
By now my dental phobia was really just an anxiety but a few years later in my mid twenties it really went up a hundred notches and became a real phobia.
I got an cavity and then an abscess on one of my teeth and not only did it hurt like hell but it caused a massive nasty infection in my mouth and gum. I went to my cousin again and he was just vile and treated me like I had the black plague.
The treatment was spotty at best and I was just petrified, and since then no matter what went on in my mouth I tried my best to either grin and bear it or ignore it.
So for ten years the mere thought of the dentist has sent chills of terror and I do really mean terror down my spine.
The boy made an aside that I should sue my cousin for damages which in my mind is a total waste of energy. At the end of the day I think my cousin never wanted to treat me or anyone else who was gay, he has some real issues about that.
But because he was family he couldn't just tell me to find another Dentist, nor could he encourage me to actually go see a Dentist in general. So a bit of catch 22 really.
So today I did something which has terrified me, kept me awake at night and stopped me from doing things and has contributed in no small part to my general anxiety.
I am stoked, totally stoked!
Now there is only one more thing that I have been avoiding and that's driving....
I am reading with growing hilarity the mess that McCain's running mate Sarah Palin's dysfunctional family is.
Teenage pregnancy is nothing new, it's a fact of life for so many families, ESPECIALLY when the only sex education these kids get is abstinence because that's the way God wants it.
Sex is only or procreation in a marriage right?
OH no wait a second if you are the daughter of the Republican nominee for Vice President it's OK for your 17 year old daughter to be off having unprotected sex with her high school boyfriend.
OMG people it's a Condom and it prevents pregnancy and STDS
If there was not a prime example that the abstinence sex ed programs do not work it is this.
But of course the right wing abstinence only people are just simply crowing that she made the right choice in not aborting the baby, which is such a distraction!
Let's get this in perspective, the political party which prides itself on it's high moral standards and no sex before marriage is embracing a family to potentially become their Vice President who seem to have no morals.
Let's hope this sinks the Mcain campaign entirely!
Labels: politics
Apart from the sheer panic that is simmering beneath the surface at the moment I am also very focused on my new workouts.
Let's hope I don't need too much dental work that interrupts the training sessions - Yes I realise that this is slightly ridiculous but I am so focused right now and it's the best I have felt in ages.
Over the last few weeks I have been wearing my Polar Heart Rate monitor to try an optimise my workout.
At the start of every workout I do ten minutes of interval training on the rowing machine, or as I call it the vomit inducing torture device. Ten minutes of 30 second go for hell intervals and then 30 seconds of absolutely nothing.
I average about 186 bpm for this and more than once I have either thought I was about to pass out or about to throw up. It['s amazing how in ten simple minutes you can end up doling several hundred calories.
Then it's on to whatever workout you are doing for the session.
Thank god for muscle memory is all I can say
So anyway in my workouts I range from burning 585 calories (really wimpy workout) to 780 calories.
It's a really interesting measure of how much effort I put in on that session, and the calorie count really shows this.
The boy who has been hitting the gym really hard for the last few months has been getting great results, but has now just started to realise that the gym and getting / maintaining a good shape is not a 'sprint' but a long term marathon.
I know this because every time I workout for months and months then I lose interest and stop working out for a while.
For now I have a goal for the Sleaze weekend, then I have another one for the end of November when I go off to the US.
Then I don't know, maybe the gym just needs to be part of my every day 'normalcy' who knows!
Labels: workout
Last night at a friend's Birthday party as I ate a piece of chocolate cake (my first in weeks) I had what I thought was something stuck to the back of one of my teeth.
I tried everything to get rid of it.
But then the harsh horror hit me, there was nothing stuck to my tooth, in fact I had lost half of my tooth!
I am terrified to the point of inability to function by the Dentist. I am anxiety ridden and in a blind panic, I haven't been to the Dentist in a good ten years even though I know I should have because I have had bad teeth and bad gums as a teenager through neglect and a chronically dry mouth.
So now on Wednesday for the first time in ten years I have to go to the Dentist for an 'assessment' then I have another hour next week to start fixing whatever.
But after not going to the Dentist for ten years I am terrified at what they will find, my mind is playing out all sorts of horrendous scenarios in my head.
I am not even sure with Valium I will be able to site back in that chair and even vaguely relax.
It's a nightmare but on the other side this is one of those fears and phobias that I know can only be addressed and solved by going.
The last time I went to the Dentist I had three cavities fixed, and I fainted after getting up from the chair.
But at least this time I am not going to my previous dentist who I did not like and I am going to a Dental practice owned by the wife of an ex work colleague, although I am seeing the partner in the practice who I have met at a dinner party
She tried to convince me over dinner that I should come and see her then!
So Wednesday morning I will for the first time in ten years have to confront one of my biggest phobias!

Last week was three years since the porn model Mark Kraynak and Steve Wright died in a freak accident (falling into a quarry at night while fleeing from a paying a Taxi driver).
Mark did plenty of jerk off porn and some straight porn for gay eyes. He was a damn hot guy and it just goes to show that skipping off on your taxi fares will come back and bite you on the ass!
http://sg4ge.com
http://www.nextdoormale.com
http://www.nextdoorhookups.com
http://www.nextdoorbuddies.com/
http://www.tommydxxx.com
http://www.fratmen.tv/
Labels: eye candy porn
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