Over the next few weeks, the daily routine of mine fell back into place, the intense and overwhelming presence of my friend’s receded to a comfortable level, I could now piss without someone rushing to my door to make sure I wasn’t making a noose out of my shower curtain. Don’t get me wrong; knowing my past, I would have done the same thing, and there was no way I was hiding how I felt. Empty, confused, lost; I was basically on autopilot as I coasted through the days. I really appreciated the fact that I had such incredible friends, I was even more glad that they knew when it was time to withdraw.
This doesn’t mean I was better, I felt like a huge part of me had died. I was confused, angry, and profoundly lost. Just like grief at loosing a parent or friend, there are stages one traverses as he navigates his way back to normal. Well, whatever the hell normal means anyways. Loss and grief went on for quite some time, denial was hard to support as I was completely cut off from Austin. But anger? Well now, THAT was a different story.
Early June was a hot as hell swampy bathroom of humidity, Inland Florida was dead air stagnant almost holding the squadrons of mosquitoes in place. I stayed inside as much as possible hiding behind my Air-conditioning. Ryan was over watching a soccer match on TV while I was folding laundry in the bedroom… The strangeness of realizing Ryan was more attracted to me then he admitted, was on my mind and I realized how easily Ryan with his sporting persona and masculine traits might be able to step into Austin’s shoes… I could easily see Austin sitting there while I did house work… I was lost in this fruitless and painful course of thought when there was a knock on my door.
I told Ryan to sit down while I answered it. Standing there full of apparent rage and palpable anger was Nathan, the rotten little homophobe who had freaked out at Phil’s party. The silence and pause that followed seemed to last ages as we stood staring. In that time my mind raced to link this angry hostile kid, Austin’s leaving me, and the vicious rumor that had preceded him to Gainesville. I saw in that violent visage a danger that he might try to hurt me. In slow motion I watched my hand fly out and connect firmly on his solar plexus. I watched almost from a set of different eyes as he bent over and I grabbed him by his collar and left arm and pivoted around while lifting him slightly then driving my leg between his legs with enough force to lift him in a perfect shoulder throw. In Judo this is called Uchi Mata, one of the most spectacular, and devastating throws in the sport. The point is to throw one’s adversary in a perfect arc over the thrower and force him to land with an amazing amount of force. In this case ; on an end table which shattered in a thunderous explosion. His surprise was evident and his shock registered as I went on autopilot and slid in behind him on the floor and wrapped my arms around his throat. Western wrestling calls this the “sleeper”, The Japanese have perfected this move like everything else they do and made it into a lethal and nearly inescapable hold which cuts off blood to the brain by squeezing the carotid arteries. My brain had snapped, THIS was the person responsible for all my pain and everything bad that had happened. Every iota of that anger and fury suddenly burst out of me in this moment, and my brain watched as a detached observer.
It might seem out of character for me to explode with such violence and power, I suppose there has been little indication that I was capable of such an act. Consider this though, Growing up as both small and gay, one has few choices if one wants to survive. A person can hide and cower and hope to be over looked, one can buddy up with larger guys who will offer protection, or one can learn to defend them selves. Guns are easier to learn but harder to carry with you everywhere. Martial arts offered both a strong sense of confidence and a way to ensure that I would not be a victim ever again. Nathan was certainly not going to victimize me any further.
“Jesus Christ Alex, What the hell are you doing?”
Ryan Screamed as he ran into my living room.
I quickly moved us so Nathan was shielding me with his flailing body.
“He did it Ryan, He told Austin’s girl friend about us, and he’s gunna pay!!!”
I hissed behind Nathan’s ear.
“Alex, you have to let him go, Alex, you won, you proved your point.”
Ryan was pleading as Mrs. Tremere rushed into my doorway and saw what was happening.
“Mon ami, tu as besoin d'arrêter, tu as besoin de lui laisser Alex,
mon cher je t'en prie, ne fait pas ceci. Alex je t'en prie, pour
moi, ne le fait pas? Laisse-lui mon amour.”
In that moment Mrs. Tremere was pleading with me in hysterical French, which I understood no better then I would Swahili, Nathan went limp, although I had obviously never done this move to this point before, I was told that death would follow swiftly if he didn’t get his blood flow restored.
Alex said stunned watching Nathan’s body slump. The telephone was in his hand as he dialed 911.
Something finally brought me back to earth, my eyes were my own once again and the look on their faces pierced through even my anger. I pulled my hand back and flattened my hand for an open hand blow and pounded it forcefully into Nathan’s spinet. Ryan dove at me to stop this action as Mrs Tremere screamed. As soon as my palm hit Nathan he started to cough and act like a drowning victim come back to life. The place I hit him was a pressure point to revive those knocked out in chokeholds. But it looks like a killing blow if you don’t know what’s going on.
I let Nathan slide to the ground and rest as I marched my fury filled body to my room, saying to no one in particular,
“I don’t want to see that evil shit when I come out.”
I had never been so angry or focused in my life…. All the anger from my childhood of being tortured by ‘phobes like Nathan had merged with the realization of what I assumed this evil kid had done. I was shaking from the adrenaline and had to be alone. Blind fury leaves a strong metallic taste in your mouth, like chewing on an iron fence.
I lay on my bed and waited for the police to come, I was sure I was going to be taken down town. But no one came and my breathing finally returned to normal. Eventually a knock on my door preceded Phil coming in warily.
“Can I talk for a minute?”
He asked calmly.
“Go for it.”
I said from my barely contained hostility in my dark room.
“Dude, it wasn’t Nathan who told Austin, it was a girl. I don’t know who, but… Nathan is here to explain all that, we calmed him down and he needs to talk to you about something. You don’t have to see him if you don’t want. But I think you should dude.”
“Are you telling me I almost killed… I almost killed him and he was innocent?”
I said as I opened my eyes. Tears welled up and my righteous anger turned to a palpable fear.
“Alex, dude, Nathan needs to ask you something, Pull yourself together and come on out ok?”
“Yeah… I…I…Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute Phil…. G-give me a minute.”
Several minutes later, after washing my face and pulling myself together I walked out to find Nathan, Phil and Ryan sitting around one of Mrs. Tremere’s silver trays filled with pastries she’d made.
I looked at Nathan then lowered my eyes; I tried to apologize when Phil spoke up.
“Go get a drink and then come sit down.”
So I grabbed a Pepsi and went and sat down on the couch near Phil.
“Nathan, I am so sorry dude, I-I…”
I stuttered as I searched for the right words.
“The truth is I saw you and… I figured it had to be you, and you looked so angry I assumed you’d come to do something to me…I snapped. But… Ohhh God Nathan, I’m.. I-I’m really sorry”
I pleaded with him.
“I’ll get over it.”
He said with barely hidden contempt.
“I came here to get you to stop Dennis.”
Nathan said slowly trying not to glare at me.
I looked at him confused then turned to Phil before turning back.
“I don’t understand, what’re you talking about?”
Nathan stared at the floor a second before fixing me with his firey eyes.
“Dennis has filled my car with dog shit and ruined the paint with some chemical. Yesterday he fucked with my house, and this afternoon… Dude, he super glued all my windows and doors shut. He’s sent me dead squirrels in the mail… The cops say that unless someone sees him they can’t do anything.
I got a chill suddenly and looked at Phil.
“I tried talking to Dennis yesterday, he said he had to hear from you before He’d stop, Anyhow, I didn’t see any harm in brining him here… maybe I shoulda gone first.”
Phil offered in retrospect as he looked from Nathan to my ruined table which had been cleared and stored in a corner near my kitchen..
Nathan added threw clenched teeth,
“He’s fucking with the wrong redneck!”
In truth I think that last comment was more bravado and anger then any real threat, I doubted Nathan could do anything to Dennis.
“I’ll call him, and I’m sorry about your car… I-I I had no idea.”
I went to my room to call Dennis and talk in privet.
When I came back I assured Nathan that the harassment would stop.
“Dennis said he would stop and he’d pay to get your car cleaned.
I sat down and could see how shaken up Nathan was.
“I didn’t tell nobody about Austin, What you perverts do ain’t nona my concern, far as ahm concerned, he’s dead.”
Nathan said as he got up to leave. And slammed my door on his way out.
After Nathan left I sat down and had a cheese croissant.
I said to Phil.
“How do you know it was a girl and what haven’t you told me?”
I asked directly.
Phil and Ryan gave each other conspiratorial looks like spies who’d been caught.
“I called him the other day.”
Ryan offered slowly. My heart leapt for a second then as I saw their faces my heart went cold and I felt my stomach knot up and sink like an anchor.
I asked resigned to the bad news I knew they had.
“Alex, we didn’t talk too long, I just got a few answers.”
Ryan said softly.
“It wasn’t Nathan, it was some girl from the same sorority as Phoebe who worked at Disney who recognized him from UF and called Phoebe. Apparently she made Austin Prove it was all a joke by staying close to her and staying away from all the people down here she didn’t know. He misses you Alex… He made me promise to take care of you.”
Ryan put his hand on my shoulder. I sat for a second vacillating between feeling sorry for him and wanting to hold him, And cold anger at him and wanting to purge him from my heart with an acetylene torch.
“Fine, he’s made his choice, I can move on now.”
I said in petulant anger.
Ryan and Phil wanted to talk to me about it but I ignored them with the stubborn energy of a mad four year old.
I had been hopelessly depressed before, now my sad tears had entered a cold rage. God I’m a moody bastard sometimes.
Several days later I was walking along Orange Avenue in Orlando with Michael. Ostensibly I was there to help him shop for clothing, a task I was appointed to rather then asked to perform. Unlike most gay men whose sense of direction is supplanted by a strong sense of fashion, Michael was born devoid of anything resembling a fashion sense. Thankfully he had a remarkable sense of direction and could change a flat tire without assistance, so he was useful for those times a lesbian or straight man wasn’t around.
“Why the hell are we walking around Orange Ave at 11am on a Saturday?”
Michael asked sinse there were no actual clothing stores in the area.
“We’re killing time till noon when we will walk over to Little Saigon and have lunch, then we’ll go to the Florida mall, Ok?”
“I wanted Sushi.”
Michael stated boldly.
I fixed Michael with a glare I seldom used which told him that not only was he pushing me too far on a Saturday morning, but also that I wasn’t going to let him win like I normally did. I was never hard to read, My emotions were written all over me.
“Little Saigon is good too I guess.”
So we window-shopped and explored the small stores leading up to Colonial drive and made our way to Little Saigon.
“So are you feeling better yet bitch?”
“Somewhat, I’m more mad than anything else right now to be honest.”
I said as I reached for the front door to Little Saigon.
“Good, does that mean I can stop pretending to like you and start making fun of you again?”
I was about to answer when Julie saw me and came over singing,
“Heeeeeelllllllllllo Alex, Hellllllllo Michael.”
Before hugging us both.
She then stepped back and looked from me to Michael quickly before scowling at him and pointing a small finger at him.
“I know what’s happening with Alex, you better be nice to him Michael!!!.”
She admonished sternly but with that ever-present smile.
Michael shot me a sour a look and I couldn’t help but grinning back as she sat us and handed us the menus.
“You two are so bad! No body else understands your game,”
Julie said shaking her head.
“I come back with summer rolls for you two.”
Julie smiled as she walked away.
“You paid her to do that.”
Michael said trying to suppress a grin.
“Be nice, or I’ll start crying and tell her it was you.”
I grinned back.
Michael gave his sinister scowl.
Lunch was wonderful and we had two Vietnamese coffees to finish the meal. Think insanely sweet Turkish coffee with a kick.
We chatted with Julie a little more and paid our bill, left a great tip, and walked out.
“Well, Well. Looky what Rupaul dragged out!”
A voice called from behind us as Michael and I left.
I looked up at Michael and then over to the guy who had called it out. What I saw was a fashion model grinning at me.
I asked as I broke out in a smile and went up and hugged him.
“Thanks for calling me before you came down!”
Jason scolded with a huge grin.
“I-uhhhh- I didn’t know I was gunna be here to be honest.”
“Care to join me for lunch?”
I suddenly remembered Michael standing behind me when I saw Jason’s eyes dart up.
“Ohhh, Jason, this is Michael, my best friend. Michael, this is Jason, the guy who tried to save me from that dinner party Ryan took me to that I wasn’t ready for.”
I said quickly as I stepped aside to introduce them.
Jason had on his award-winning smile as he shook Michael hand, Michael looked like a deer in a headlight. Good-looking guys often had that effect on Michael, and Jason could have walked off any runway in Europe.
But it was fun to watch 6’6” Michael drooling down at 6’4” Jason.
“So, would the two of you care to join me? I’m starving.”
I was turning to ask Michael but even before I could, he started pushing me towards the door, I took that to mean, YES.
“Well, we just ate to be honest, but what the hell.”
I said as Jason held the door and we shuffled in.
“Oh my, one of you make new boy friend so quick!”
Julie said almost laughing as she walked up.
We had an interesting lunch, Jason managed to relax Michael a little, enough to at least speak and make small talk. And Jason proved to be as funny and amiable a guy as he had been that night at the party. Not having anything else on his itinerary for the afternoon, He decided to accompany us to the mall. I swear it’s genetic!
Although we were there for Michael, each of us landed up acquiring piece after of piece of attire. Jason and I fed off each other as we critiqued and gave our assessments on certain outfits. While Michael was trying a few of his pieces on in the Abercrombie and Fitch Store, I asked Jason something away from the dressing room.
“Jason; next week is Michael’s Birthday party, would you like to come? It’s a surprise party so don’t let on please.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely, I never turn down a party.”
“Cool, seeing as how he’s left a foot of drool all over the mall on account of you.”
Jason grinned and asked.
“So he’s not normally soooo…”
“Shy? Nooooo, He’s usually funny as hell and twice as witty. He’s just off his game cause of your looks.”
Jason got a huge grin.
“What about you? My looks bothering?”
Jason asked askew as he pretended to look at a pair of shorts.
“They might be.”
I said evenly.
“Guess I need to keep working on you then, huh?”
He said as he nudged me into the shirt display.
“Any reason you’re trying? A guy like you has got to have guys all over the place.”
I said as I nudged him back and he nearly fell into the shorts he was looking at.
“There are a few guys I’m seeing I guess, But how come the big guy gets all quiet and his little friend isn’t even phased?”
Jason asked with a slight grin.
I got a big grin and pretended to peruse the ties,
“Well, which one is the cute model following around flirting with?
I asked barely suppressing a grin. I was having honest to god fun for the first time in months. It felt like years.
“Damn, you’re one cocky little shit!”
“You got no idea dude.”
Michael said as he exited his booth and walked up to us.
I ignored his comment and said
“Oh baby, those shorts are so not working with that shirt. Try that teal striped shirt I picked out for you earlier.”
When Michael disappeared in the dressing room again I turned to Jason and said,
“It’s amazing how much sarcasm they stuffed in that boy…”
“Does that mean you won’t mind if I fuck with him?”
He asked mischievously.
I laughed and hit the big guy in the arm.
“Nooooo, be nice!”
I paused for a moment.
In the end, Michael landed up spending a great deal more money than he usually did on these outings, but Jason seduced him into a few really nice outfits.
At 6 we finally stopped for dinner at a Bennigan’s or TGF Friday’s, One of those chains where they hang crap, memorabilia, and junk on every wall and the waiters are forced to wear humiliating amounts of buttons and decorations. BUT, they served drinks so…
While we were eating and drinking Michael brought up the idea of going out. As it was Saturday and Southern Nights was having it’s Lesbi-go-go night, we opted for Parliament House.
“Maybe Michael will get lucky and win Balcony Bingo!”
Jason teased, though the fact that only Michael was signaled out for this wasn’t lost on me. To explain Balcony Bingo requires an understanding of the Parliament house. It isn’t really a bar or club, although it has both, it’s a huge complex consisting of a large club, a theatre, a Country bar which isn’t attached, a swimming pool, a back bar for the leather types, and a 2 story hotel. Balcony Bingo is simply taking a tour around the rooms and seeing if any of the guests want to party or… Plenty of shows were put on too, slings, S&M… orgies… The place has new owners now who have cleaned the place up and made some much-needed improvements, they also ended balcony bingo… so it’s cruising the complex as one does in any other club now… Back then though, the debauchery was tangible.
As we were much closer to Michael’s apartment we decided to go there and get cleaned up and take only one vehicle to the club. We all picked out what we wanted to wear and tossed the new clothes in Michael’s washer and sat around drinking beers and talking.
“Make sure Alex gives you an invitation and directions to my surprise party next week, She’ll probably forget.”
Michael added in a taunting voice aimed at me.
I added without missing a beat,
“But it was canceled due to the fact that nobody loves Michael and I couldn’t get anyone to show, maybe we can get him drunk and drop him off in a room at Parliament.”
I taunted back
I got up to get another round.
“You want a drink dork wad?”
I asked Michael.
“No, better not if I’m driving.”
He said half-heartedly.
So I got Jason and I another round then went and put the clothes in the dryer.
“So is Ron working?”
“Isn’t Ron ALWAYS working?”
Michael scowled at me.
Ron is Michael’s roommate, a saucy guy with a permanent address on Gay.com.
A few minutes later Michael suggested we use Ron’s bathroom and start our showers now since the clothing would be dry by the time we were done. I suspected he also wanted to see Jason walking around in his Calvin’s or towel. Alright, I have to admit, the idea intrigued me too;.
Jason took the last shower and I ironed his shirt and pants as he showered, I only got to see a brief moment of his Calvin clad bulge. He caught me looking and got a knowing half smirk.
Half an hour later we were ready to leave in Michael’s car since it was the largest and it was covered unlike my jeep.
I sat in the back, (The short guy ALWAYS sits in the back seat) and we listened to a mixed tape of Amber and some other club hits that Jason brought with him on the way to Parliament House.
The Parliament House is a very large complex with a large area for parking both on site and in the desolate downtown area that surrounds it. The complex sits like an oasis in a sprawl of decrepit buildings and old stores that was probably cutting edge neuveau in the 1950s.
As soon as we got close the boom of the club started filling our veins and altering the atmosphere. One could see the physical change as we stood taller, got that swing in our step, and strutted in like runway models.
The place was hopping at full capacity, it took forever to get to the bar, but Jason was so damned good looking and Michael was so freaking tall, we got drinks almost immediately once we were there.
After ½ an hour of posing and nodding to people we kinda knew, and an hour and a half of dancing, we watched the early drag show. Later we walked around (and, YES, we played balcony bingo, though mostly just to see what was going on).
After another round of drinks, Jason suggested going to the Country/leather bar, Fullmoon saloon. It wasn’t my favorite place to visit as I didn’t care for country music, but I’d downed enough Southern comfort that I really didn’t care. We must have looked hysterical, Michael towering at 6’6”, Jason almost as tall at 6’4”, and me following after like a hobbit on speed.
In the full moon several guys knew Jason, mostly older ones which reminded me of his former career. Michael, I noticed was getting quite lit, he was laughing hysterically and the two of them were holding each other up when we were joking. I knew as soon as Michael put his arm around me and started laughing with me that there was no way he was driving home. Michael and I both tend to be good-natured, funny drunks. He must have realized he was getting drunk too since he physically put his keys in my pocket.
We went outside on their deck and ordered more drinks there. Michael had gone off to the bathroom when this country song came on and several couples flocked to the floor, before I knew it I found Jason putting my drink
on the counter and pulling me over to the floor too. Before I knew it he had pulled me against him and was rocking us rhythmically to the music. My face was pressed into his chest and, well, I just followed and giggled a little, I must have been drunk cause I was dancing to country music-sorta. No one who knew me woulda believed I was on the floor.
“This is one of my favorites”
Jason yelled down at me.
I nodded my head on his chest and enjoyed the warmth and comfort of being held.
A short time later, Jason’s right hand went from my shoulder down my back, and when I thought it was going to go over my jeans to my ass, I was very surprised when his hand weasled under my waistband instead. I gasped deeply as his warm hand snaked over my ass.
A second after Jason worked his hand down my pants he leaned over and said,
“You ain’t wearing any underwear are ya?”
I turned into his face and put my lips on his ear,
I said laughing at myself till it became a drunk giggle.
The next second; a long finger entered the crevice in my ass cheeks and was softly dragged up the valley.
I went weak for a second and fell against him.
“Like that do you ya?”
Jason asked deeply from far above me. I nodded my head against him. I was suddenly much more sober then I had been a second before.
“I sure do like slow dancing.”
Jason’s deep voice said above me as I was caressed by his finger and held tightly against him.
I had passed quickly from shock to confusion to full enjoyment of the situation in less then a minute, and when Jason lifted his large hand slightly his finger pressed tightly against my excited hole. If my eyes had been open they would have crossed. His other large hand spread out across my back and rubbed me tenderly. I lay against the built chest just drunk enough to ignore everything else but how good it felt.
I wanted to tell him how good it felt, but the reality of bars is that a guy his height couldn’t hear a guy my height unless he leaned over really far or I screamed at him… There were other ways Michael and I had devised to communicate, but I didn’t want to put Jason in a submission hold and there were no stools around for me to stand on.
Jason was lifting his hand just enough to cause me to tip toe slightly, and enough to finally get his finger where he’d wanted it all along. I moaned into his chest and could just hear him chuckle.
“Heeeeeeeeey Papi!!!!! Who’s you friend Yason?”
This Hispanic voice interrupted from behind me.
I didn’t move even though Jason’s finger was quickly removed and his hand left my ass, left it wanting more to be honest. I still stayed against his chest.
“Oscar, my man! What brings you and Ricky to this place? Aren’t you guys more into the Southern nights crowd?”
Jason asked in a slightly slurred voice, it might have hinted at being drunk and annoyed, but that might just have been me wanting to read my feelings into it.
“Ches, but not on Saturday night… Ricky don’ like the lezpian night. So, who you’ friend? Or do jou know hees name yet?”
“Oscar, Alex. Alex, Oscar, Oscar is a fellow…”
Jason searched for a word before saying with a wide grin,
I busted out laughing and Jason joined in as Oscar became slightly indignant.
“Oh no jou Di’in!!!”
Oscar shot as he fixed a venomous scowl on Jason.
Jason and I laughed as Oscar scowled.
“So, why jou paying Yason Alan? jou’s a cutie.”
Oscar asked me as he tried to step between Jason and me. My mouth hung open, as Oscar seemed to be almost attacking me. Jason quickly stepped up and wrapped his arm around me.
“Actually Oscar, I’m paying Alex, He’s got a few talents you wouldn’t believe!”
Jason said as he closed his eyes and Shivered dramatically.
Oscar’s face changed from Angry and bitter to surprised and curious in a millisecond.
“Oh Jes? Wha’ jou do?”
Oscar asked me sweetly.
Before either of us could come up with something, this older guy with the worst toupee I’d ever seen came up and put his arm around Oscar.
He said as he kissed Oscar on the cheek from behind.
“Oh, hello Jason.”
He said as he smiled at Jason and set his eyes on me.
Oscar said as he slid into Ricky’s arms.
“Alan, dis ees Ricky, ees mi Papi!”
“Oscar, his name is Alex, not Alan.”
Jason said as he shook Ricky’s hand.
“Hokay, what ever.”
Oscar said without any embarrassment.
“Baby, I’m gunna get another cocktail, jou wan somethin’?”
Ricky handed Oscar a $20 and said he was fine.
Ricky was actually quite well built, despite his hairpiece… He should have just gone bald or worn a hat.
When Oscar came back I watched as he and Ricky kissed and entwined.
So Jason and I shock his hand and they began talking when I suddenly realized that Michael had been gone for some time.
“Excuse me guys, someone I know has been gone for a little too long”
I said as I let my hand slide across Jason.
“Mebee ees geeting lucky? Jou jess gunna cock block heem, Jes?”
Oscar said approaching me again.
“We came here together, I just need to know where he is, I’ll be back”
I said as I slipped into the stream of people that boiled around our group.
I found Michael on the other side of the deck talking with a friend he’d gone to school with named Blaine. I was walking up to say Hi when I was grabbed by a very drunk Oscar.
“Why jou run away? I jess wanna know what jou do dat make Yason so happy.”
He slurred as he got too close for my comfort.
“I was just going to see my…”
Then a thought flashed in my drunken mind.
Then I waved at Michael and true to his irascible nature he scowled at me and called out.
“Oh shit, he’s in a bad mood… Ozwald, you should leave, he get’s SOOOO mean when he drinks!”
I said intentionally messing up Oscar’s name.
“Bitch, Did I say you could flirt?!?!?”
Michael said as he rose from his bar stool. He was unwittingly acting perfect because Oscar was melted into the crowed before Michael even got near me.
I jumped on the rungs of a bar stool and kissed Michael on the lips.
“Promise me that if that guy ever comes near me again, you’ll get all postal on him will you?”
I asked. We both started to laugh and he landed up holding me up as I fell against him laughing. We laughed even harder when I explained that I had told Oscar that Michael was my mean jealous pimp.
Michael, Blaine, and I laughed and were hugging all each other for support as the beers, southern compforts, and screwdrivers added up.
Jason showed up a few minutes later and slipped an arm around me and kissed me on the nose as he indicated to the bartender that we needed another round; we REALLY didn’t, but by that point who was making good decisions?
“Ya ready ta blow thiz place sport?”
Jason asked as he gently pulled me off my barstool.
“It’s really crowded tanight, how bout I do half tonight and the rest tomorrow?”
I slurred as I started laughing at my own drunken joke. It took Michael and Jason a minute before they caught it, but Michael quickly volunteered to help me.
As we stumbled towards the car Michael suddenly cursed.
“God damnit, I lohst mhy keyz!”
This caused several minutes of panic as we ran around to the bars searching for the missing keys.
Finally I remembered what had happened and stopped the other two.
“ah’ve got good newz an bad news Michael.”
Michael was clearly not in a joking mood just then so I just continued,
“Ah know where yer keyz ar an the’re fahn, but we cant use ‘em tanite.”
Michael just glared at me as I held up his keys and jingled them.
“Michael, if we’re zo drunk we can’t rembembr where dey wen’, Ah don’ thing any uv us should be drivin.”
I was bracing for a barrage of verbal abuse but Michael just started to turn red and then burst out laughing.
“Lets wake Ron up an make him come an git us.”
Michael said laughing hysterically and holding himself up on a pole outside the bar.
I started to laugh too, Ron was probably on a date and… well… we were being evil drunks. BUT sensible evil drunks… Being sensible drunks, we did the only thing possible as we waited for Ron to come pick us up, we went inside and had another round.
Ron wasn’t a happy camper, not even a little as he pulled up in his little white Geo. He didn’t say one word on the ride home despite our best jokes and sincerest efforts to make him smile.
At the apartment he went in to his room and closed the door quietly which meant he had a guest, otherwise he would have slammed it.
Michael reached in my pockets and yanked his keys out as he went towards his room
“ahm lockin mah dowa in 10 minetz, if ya wan’ a bed ‘nstead ov a couch ya bedder ghet ready now.”
He slurred before he marched towards his door. At the last second he turned around with a grin,
“’cept you Jaz’n, you cahn tahke az lung az ya wan’ baby.”
I rolled my eyes at his shameless flirting and Jason laughed.
I was the last into Michael’s small bathroom so the other two were in already in bed giggling when I walked into the dark room.
“ah had a bad dream, ah wanna sleep wit y’all tanight”
I giggled as I crawled up the center of the bed and squeezed between the two giants.
After much giggling and a little inappropriate touching, we all landed up spooning each other, Michael facing out, me behind him and Jason snuggle behind me. I had my hand draped over Michael and on impulse reached down to see if my suspicion was right.
“Dahddy, Mohmmy’z got a hard on!”
I complained in my best little kid voice.
Jason pressed up hard against me till a definite protrusion poked me in the butt and said,
“So does daddy.”
A second later a hand reached around my waist and Jason said
“So do you Beaver.”
Which made us all start laughing again. We got the giggles so bad Ron started banging on the wall in Michael’s closet that separated their rooms.
“Shut the fuck up!”
He yelled. Which of course made us laugh harder. The harder we tried to be quiet the louder our laughing became.
Finally the booze had it’s sedative effect and we got quiet. I had never taken my hand off Michael and just started to do what came naturally to me, and the motion let Jason know what we were doing so he reached his hand down my boxers (I put them on to sleep) and started jacking me gently. For the first time that night all three of us were quiet. After several minutes Michael started to moan and suddenly he reached down and took over for the last stretch. Abruptly Michael shuddered and gasped and began breathing heavy. A minute later he got out of bed and grabbed a towel out of his closet and went to his bathroom. As soon as the shower started Jason yanked my boxers off me and climbed on top of me. He kissed me and started to grind a very hard cock into my thigh,
“How long do you think he’ll be in there?”
Jason whispered in my ear.
“Depends on if he falls asleep in the shower.”
Jason put his mouth on my ear and ran the tip around the lobe, this made me moan and melt against him.
“ah knew you were gunna be a tactile guy, sensual.”
Jason rasped in my ear before sticking his tongue in there.
My cock was doing all my thinking for me at this moment, well, my cock and a butt load of beer and southern comfort. I writhed till I was pressing my ear against Jason’s tongue and my legs were wrapped tightly around his waist.
“Ah knew ya’d be a bottom too.”
He said in my ear as a hand reached down and caressed my ass and thigh.
I’m not sure why, it was probably my drinking my weight in booze, but I moaned out,
“but…I-I’m a top.”
I lied in a soft moan.
A second later Jason used his forearm to lift one leg even further as he reached down and ran a fingertip in small circles on my hole.
“Not tonight you aren’t!”
He said as he started wiggling a finger up my ass.
I moaned and buried my face in his shoulder as he slid off of me and worked his finger deeper.
Jason chuckled as he worked his long finger in and found my spot.
“I’m ready whenever you wanna top.”
He teased as he got me groaning and writhing on his finger.
While keeping his finger firmly lodged, he sat up suddenly and reversed his position. I lifted my head to see what he was doing when his hips suddenly brought Jason’s Cock to my lips. It was at this time I felt a warm set of lips slide over my cock. When I opened my mouth to moan a skilled set of hips filled my mouth with an 8” cut Sub.
After a few minutes of exceedingly talented oral stimulation, Jason worked a second finger inside me and used his other hand to cup and play with my balls.
I was nowhere near as talented as Jason, guess doing this for a living necessitates being better then most.
I gave his cock as good as I could though, and used my hands to caress his ass and sides. After a few glorious minutes of intense probing and sucking I felt my nuts tighten, I tried to tell him but his hips kept gyrating his cock into my mouth. A minute later I exploded into a wondrously talented mouth and felt my ass squeezing his fingers.
Despite the booze I had an intense ejaculation.
I would have paused a few seconds but I was being gently mouth fucked and unless I wanted to throw him off, had no option but to lay there and make sure to keep my teeth away from him.
As I was preparing for him to reach the final stretch I began thinking about how casually he’d swallowed my cum. I was a little unnerved by it. I decided that even though it would be a nice thing to do, it wouldn’t be the smartest or healthiest. So when the time came and rhythm picked up and his balls got tight, I rolled him off me onto his side, I then reached up and jacked him firmly until he exploded all over my face. I saw that as a good compromise as I licked and sucked his balls the whole time..
After a few deep breathes to recover, Jason reached down and pulled me on top of him so we were face to face. Then he moved in as if he wanted to kiss, instead a tongue came out and he began licking my face clean.
Afterwards we kissed a little in silence.
“What the hell is taking Michael so long?”
I wondered out loud.
“He was done about 30seconds after I climbed on top of you, He walked out, saw us and went to the living room I guess.”
What I had done and what Michael had seen suddenly hit me. I felt profoundly guilty all of a sudden. I was also deeply ashamed.
Jason obviously didn’t feel any of this and scooped me up and spooned me tightly as we went to sleep.
I lay there and waited for Michael to return, but he never came back in the room As I lay there I thought about what just happened and why. Was this proof I was getting over Austin, was it cheating? It felt a lot like cheating. Was it cheating on Ryan? Clearly Ryan wanted something more, but with his Michael, what could happen? And what about Jason? Did he want more? Was this just drunken fun? I hated when the buzz was gone. It was nearly sunlight when I dozed off.
I awoke several hours later when I heard banging in the kitchen and smelled coffee. Michael wasn’t much of a cook, but he made damned good coffee. And his eggs and toast were definitely passable.
At first I didn’t want to face him, but finally the draw of coffee drew me to my feet and I dressed quickly and exited the room as quietly as I could.
Michael turned and fixed me with a cold unemotional stare. He approached me and handed me a cup and walked past without saying a word.
After sitting in silence for 20 minutes feeling an ocean of dread and knowing that what I had done was beyond tacky, I finally said,
“Michael, I’m so Sorry hon… I didn’t mean to chase you out of your room.”
Michael didn’t say a word, he just retrieved his carafe and walked around to fill up my cup.
When he sat down and took a sip he finally looked at me saying,
“Whatever bitch, next time I get to be the beaver.”
Mon ami, you need to stop, you need to leave him Alex, my dear
>please, don't do this. Alex I'm asking you, for me, don't do this ?
> Leave him my love