January 15 2007
A sharp slapping sound broke the quiet sobbing that filled the room.
"Now now. You know that crying isn't going to help us. We need to get you becoming better." Hissed a sharp voice in his ear. He tried to curl up into a ball but found himself unable, so he tried to pull himself away.
"Come on now. This isn't going to be any fun if you're not right here with me is it." Said the voice sadistically in his ear. He felt another sob build in his chest and then escape his mouth. He squirmed and then sucked his in his breath sharply as he felt something hard press against his naked back.
"Please no. I can't again already." He strangled voice said. His tormentor sighed behind him.
"We've already discussed this. It's not all about your needs. I have needs as well. Don't you love me enough to give me what I need?" The voice from behind mocked him. He went to turn his head and got a sharp slap across the face in reply.
"Face the front unless told otherwise. See this is the problem. How are you going to get better if you can't follow instructions?" Came the stern reprimand. He hung his head, ashamed for bringing on the punishment. He deserved that. He knew the rules. He should have followed the rules and he wouldn't have been hurt.
He heard his tormentor gather spit into his mouth and then felt at wetness on his naked backside. He whimpered quietly as his brain registered what was about to happen. It was all he could do not to cry out in agony as he felt the sharp penetration. There was no stopping; there was no allowing him to get used to the invasion. He felt it sink all the way in, then the agony as it was just as fiercely ripped back out of him. He cried out at the pain and got another sharp slap.
"You should moan not cry out. After all, this is meant to be the fun part." Came the vicious command as the rough penetration happened again. He bit down on his arm and felt tears trickle down his cheeks as the violation continued. He felt his body jerk forwards with each time it was slammed into. He tried to stop the tears, knowing that they would only incite more anger and punishment, but he couldn't help it. They flowed and were beyond his control. That would be understood? Surely he'd know that the crying was an accident? Wouldn't he?
His thoughts were interrupted again as the rhythmic torture started to get faster.
"You want my thick seed you filthy whore?" Came the husky voice. All he could do was whimper in response. He hoped that it would be enough to sound like an affirmation while his stomach constricted with fear and disgust. His answer was to be thrust into extra hard.
"You didn't answer me." Came another reprimand. He concentrated hard and made himself moan. Even to his own ears, he knew it wasn't convincing. An extra hard push told him as much. He flinched as several more followed.
"See, if you did as I said and became better by doing like I said, it would feel so much better for you." Snarled the angry voice behind him, sharp jabs inwards punctuating his point.
The pounding kept on growing harder. The rhythmic pounding picked up in speed, the ferocity seemed to build as well, until it was near beyond bearable. Then he heard the grunting and braced himself.
The thrusting became erratic, not keeping to any steady movement. The breathing behind him became laboured.
"So are you ready for my cum or what?" Snarled the ragged voice behind him.
"Yes, fill me." He said before burying his face in his arm to hide his flowing tears. He felt the shudder behind him and knew that it was nearly over. He knew that hateful load was filling him. He felt the weight of his oppressor land on his back.
Finally, he felt the torture stopped as it was ripped from his inside and he nearly called out in pain again. He only stopped himself by moments. He heard a harsh whisper in his ear.
"You should really listen to me, that way I don't have to remind you how to become better. Make sure you clean yourself up you go to sleep. Don't want you leaking cum onto the bedsheets." With that he felt the weight leave his back. He heard the door click closed and only then did he allow himself to start to sob out loud. He slowly lifted his eyes to the crucifix that hung on the wall.
"My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me?" He asked with his voice thick from crying. Slowly, he pulled his body painfully from the bed and walked to the en suite. He looked at the shower and saw the hot tap had been removed again. He looked over at the basin and tried to work out if he could remove a tap from there and put it on the hot water. He decided that it just wasn't worth the effort and turned on the cold water tap and climbed into the shower. He tiredly washed down his body and turned off the tap before reaching for a towel to dry himself off. Standing in front of the mirror he looked at himself as he hair drooped into his face. He tried to remember when the light had left his eyes. He started to cry as he realised, he couldn't. He tried to remember when he lost his belief in himself. His mind flashed back to six months before and he fell to his knees sobbing.
Andrew felt his breath catch in his throat as he realised who he had come home with. He closed his eyes as the memory burnt itself into his mind and the fire of which the pain burnt him from the inside out. Jason grinned as he saw the realisation hit Andrew hard. Jason then launched at Andrew who was barely able to bring his arms up before the pair tumbled out of the bed onto the ground with a heavy thud.
"I told you I would wait. You knew I would come. Don't think I haven't forgotten what you've done to me. You took him away from me, and now I'm going to take you instead." Jason spat at him.
"I'm not going to let you get me like you did Mitch, I'm going to leave here and you aren't going to touch me unless you want your sordid secrets out there."
"Much the same as you wouldn't want Cameron or your precious little Mitchell know who you went home with last night. Do you think they'd ever forgive you? You came home with me voluntarily." Snarled Jason at him.
"I'd had too much to drink, if I'd known I would have told you to fuck off." Snapped Andrew. Jason snarled and bashed his forehead against Andrew's. Andrew's head bounced back onto the floor and felt like it was about to fly off in a million pieces and scatter to the winds. The pain rocketed through his skull and lodged itself firmly behind his eyes. He started to lift his head again when Jason repeated the action. Andrew felt himself gasp and the darkness take him when the pain just grew too much.
A time later, Andrew opened his eyes and started to lift himself off the floor, reaching back gingerly to touch his head where it had hit the floor. Looking around, he couldn't see Jason. He breathed relief to himself and stood up glancing around looking around for his clothes. He noticed they were gone. He cursed, realising Jason much have moved them. Walking over he tried the door, almost expecting it to bite him. He was relatively disappointed when it opened on with no trouble. He glanced around and saw the en suite. He walked in and after a brief moment thinking, wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked out into the apartment and looked around, trying to see his clothes. Walking down the hall, he heard a noise and spun around. Not seeing anything he walked on further. He turned into the kitchen and near ran back out when he saw Jason standing there.
"So you finally decided to wake up. Good, didn't want to think I'd have to come and wake you. So what do you want to do today Lover?"
"Look, I don't know what you think is going to happen, I'm not your lover, I'm not your toy. I'm leaving." Andrew said defiantly. Jason turned and had Andrew pinned back against the wall quickly.
"Now why are you going and saying that?" Jason breathed in his ear, grinding his crotch fiercely into Andrew's. Andrew gasped in horror and dismay as his body began to betray him and respond to the treatment.
"I don't want you." Hissed Andrew in Jason's ear.
"Do you really believe that they will want you now? I've tainted you. You've betrayed poor Mitch by coming home with his ex. You've abandoned Cameron at his greatest hour of need." Jason said directly into Andrew's ear. Andrew snapped his head around, eyes wide.
"Oh yes, you say some very interesting things when you're drunk Andrew. I know it all." Jason said dangerously. Andrew swallowed nervously.
"What do you want me to do then?" Asked Andrew.
"I want you to sit down and eat breakfast with me." Jason said simply. Andrew looked at him curiously.
"Then you're going to go back to your unit and start packing your belongings. You'll tell them that you need time away on your own and that Cameron can take over your part of the lease. You'll pay until the end of the month and then you'll walk out the door and move your belongings here. You won't tell them where you're moving. You won't tell them anything about this arrangement. If you do, you'll make me very angry and you won't have to worry about them finding out about last night. You won't have to worry about anything. Am I clear?" Jason hissed in his ear. Andrew nodded very slowly.
"Good, let's eat them." Jason said happily, stepping away as though he hadn't been threatening Andrew's life mere moments ago.
The mundane took over and Jason's plan sailed along. Andrew thought he might lose it all when Mitch asked him tearfully if it was anything that he had done? Andrew rubbed his thumb along Mitch's jaw line and kissed it gently.
"It's nothing to do with you Mitch. I love you dearly and you're one of my closest friends. Nothing will change that. I need to get away because my head is clogging up with everything and I need a break. Just remember I love you ok, I just need to make myself better." Andrew said gently. He leant over and kissed Mitch's cheek and then picked up his final box and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Mitch couldn't help but shudder at the memories it brought back to the surface.
He heard the door open and close and pulled himself off the floor and walk over, switching on the shower on again. He heard a snort from the adjoining room and stepped in under the cascading water, flinching as the cold belted down on his skin, leaving him no cleaner than he had been before. The violation a dull stinging that refused to abate. He wished it would not just wash away the dirt but also the pain his life now played out to be. He wondered briefly when he had turned into the weakling who needed some knight in shining armour to ride up and rescue him. His mind flickered over the thought that maybe he had always been like that, but had simply not acknowledged it. He hung his head in what could have been shame, he told himself though it was to rinse water through his hair.
Moments later he shut off the water and stepped out of the shower and took hold of the towel hanging next to the shower. He gently dried himself off. Patting where the welts on his back were still painful and even more gently between his legs where the sting of harsh penetration remained.
Walking out into the bedroom he found his work clothes lying on the bed waiting for him.
"You should get ready for work. You start in an hour. Remember to come straight home afterwards." Came the sinister voice as the door closed. He felt tears building in his eyes, he pushed them down and pulled his clothes on.
When he was finally dressed, he opened the door and walked down the hall and looked for his keys. He finally found them and realised he was alone in the apartment. He contemplated briefly trying to escape, then gave the idea away just as quickly. Memories of his last attempt haunting him.
Andrew looked around the unit and realised that Jason wasn't about. His mind was racing at what his next move would be. Quickly he ran around the unit and gathered what he would need and then went back down the hall and collected his car keys. Racing towards the front door he stopped momentarily by the phone, trying to decide if he could call someone for help. Giving up, he threw open the front door. He took a step back as Jason stood there, a look of growing fury on his face.
"What's the bag for Andrew?" He demanded stepping forwards. Andrew took a step back, stuttering and unable to get coherent words out. Jason's eyes narrowed to dark slits.
"You weren't trying to leave were you? How can I help you better yourself if you run without even saying goodbye? That's just rude Andrew. You know I don't like rudeness." Jason said menacingly. Andrew yelped and took a step back. The next few moments were a blur and Andrew couldn't quite follow it all. When Andrew's senses finally caught up, he was face first on the floor, one of Jason's knees in the middle of this back with angry breathing in his ear.
"You need to remember your place." Jason hissed and stood up, taking his weight from Andrew's back. Andrew breathed a sigh of relief thinking he had evaded further punishment this time. Then a solid kick caught him in the side causing Andrew to gasp in surprise. Another two kicks quickly landed in his side, causing him to curl up on his side. He quickly brought his arms up to cover his head. The blows still fell heavily until he was starting to sob. There was a brief pause and then there was a sharp crack and sting across his belt causing Andrew to bellow out in pain. Two more followed in quick successions within inches or where the initial blows had landed. He looked up at Jason staring angrily down at him, belt clenched in his hand.
"Pick yourself up off the floor." Snarled Jason, stepping over Andrew towards the kitchen. Then from the kitchen Andrew heard a voice sing out.
"You better hurry to work or you'll be late. Don't forget to come straight home afterwards." The voice was light and pleasant and it chilled Andrew to the bone.
Walking into the restaurant, Andrew quickly went and signed on then headed to the waiter's station. He got assigned his tables then walked out and gave a quick glance over how busy they seemed.
"Andrew, new table." Called a voice. Andrew turned and stopped as he saw the group waiting for him. Cameron, Vanessa, Mitch and Tyler all stared back at him. After the momentary shock, Andrew stepped up and took their docket from where they had been waiting in. He glanced at the table and grimaced slightly as he saw the table number.
"Good evening, my name is Andrew and I'll be your host for the evening. If you would please follow me, I'll take you to your table." Andrew said formally and turned collecting drink menus and exhaling quickly. He silently led them to their seats and pulled out a chair for Vanessa to sit in. Without a word, Andrew passed out their menus without uttering a single word. The other four sat there looking at him, waiting for him to speak. Andrew regarded them coolly.
"I'll give you a few moments to look over your drinks menu and will come back with your meal menu." He said as he prepared to make his hasty exit. As he turned, Vanessa's hand reached out and grabbed his arm. Andrew flinched slightly, then realised what he had done. He turned to look at Vanessa.
"Yes Ma'am, can I help you?" Andrew asked formally.
"You can drop the formal bullshit Andy, this is us. You know, the people who used to be your friends?" She asked, her voice wounded.
"If I can be of more assistance with your meal Ma'am, please let me know." With that Andrew jerked his arm out of her grasp and made a hasty retreat into the service area.
"Jacinta, can we swap tables?" He asked casually. Jacinta looked at him with an arched eyebrow.
"You gotta be kidding me? My tables are all tippers. You're on your own." She said and sauntered off. Andrew sighed and grabbed the meal menus and walked over to take the drinks order.
Approaching the table, he regarded them coolly with quiet contemplation.
"May I take your drink orders or would you require a few more moments?" Andrew asked the group politely, positioning himself behind Mitch, well out of Vanessa's reach. They all looked at Andrew confused, his actions not making sense with the person they all once knew. While Andrew was handing out the menus, another waiter came over and touched Andrew lightly on the shoulder, who jumped slightly then dipped it in pain. The other four watched his face and saw it crumble as the message was relayed. He quickly put a blank expression in place on his face.
"If you'll please excuse me, I'll be back shortly with your drinks, please have a look over the meals and I'll be happy to take your order when I get back." Andrew said as he slipped away. The other four looked at each other with blank expressions.
"Well that went south. All the other guy did was say there was a Jason Martin, no, Clarkson, no..." Said Tyler, trying to remember the name he'd heard. Mitch's face drained of all color.
"Jason Barton." Mitch supplied unsteadily.
"Yeah, that's the one." Tyler said happily. Cameron and Vanessa's head snapped around to look at Mitch who just nodded.
"Who's Jay?" Asked Tyler clearly confused. Mitch looked down and sighed.
"It's time to explain who I know Vanessa and Cameron I think." Mitch said. Tyler looked back at him unsure. Vanessa and Cameron sat there silently. Cameron touched Mitch on the arm gently.
"I've only known Cameron, Vanessa and Andrew a short time. Andrew is our waiter. A little over a year actually. That's not where the story starts though. It starts three years ago when I met Jason." Mitch said. Cameron and Vanessa's head snapped around, as they hadn't heard the story either.
"I grew up happy, never wanting for anything. It was the American dream. White picket fences type stuff, y'know. Dad was a hard working guy in real estate. Mom was only working part time in the local nursery. I have an older sister and two older brothers. We grew up in a good Southern Baptist community. Grace before every meal, prayer time before bed and church every Sunday. Growing up, I was a loner. I didn't friends very easily. The friendships always seemed to go bad after a while. I kept to myself and was happy that way." Mitch recounted slowly.
"Then one day, I happened upon two guys kissing out on the bleachers at school. I knew what I was seeing was meant to be wrong. I didn't think so though. I saw it and, while I knew it was meant to be wrong, couldn't help but want it more. It was like this sight taught me a belonging that I didn't know I'd wanted. Something that I wanted to be part of, something I wanted for myself. I crept away without saying anything. One of them had seen me though and he came up to me later. He asked if I would say anything. I told him I wouldn't and he asked me to hang out with him later. I agreed. That afternoon I had my first kiss. Fucked up huh. I didn't have my first kiss until I was eighteen." Mitch said. A hint of sadness edged his voice. Cameron lay his hand on Mitch's arm gently and Tyler took his other one while Vanessa looked on.
"Anyways, we parted ways to go to college. First day, big college building and an insane roomy who had more girls than pairs of jeans. There were times when I felt like the insanity wouldn't end. He'd have so many different girls and I'd have no one. Until one night he came home drunk. He told me I was lucky. That I didn't have a thing to concern myself about. He said he was on the outside looking into my life and he could see through me and see my true colours. Inside I was out there living life free, I just didn't know how to let it be released. At first I thought it just drunken rambling. Then he said he envied me. I was so quiet no one expected me to be anything else and I could live free, that he's made himself a guild cage. It looked nice but everyone expected him to be this loud and outrageous thing. Then he kinda fucked it all up by saying that I needed a nice bloke to settle with and then promptly passed out across the foot of my bed." Mitch continued.
"The next day when my roomy woke up, he apologised for all the shit he'd said the night before. He said he'd meant it but that he could have chosen a more sober moment for it. He then proceeded to drag me out to clubs and pubs over the next few weeks. Then we went to one club. It wasn't big, it wasn't flashy. Hell, I doubt it was even sanitary. My roomy took us in and said that if we didn't find me a root he may even have to take me home and do me himself. I laughed it off at the time, looking back though it may have been the better option. Anyways, we were getting our drinks and this guy came over and started chatting to us. He seemed nice enough and introduced himself as Jason. At first I thought it amusing watching my roomy getting hit on by this guy. Then I realised; he was actually hitting on me. My roomy, kept nudging me grinning. I ended up going home with him. The next day he dropped me back at the dorm and asked for my number. I gave it to him and he said he'd call me later and see if I was free to catch up. I doubted I'd hear from him ever again. He proved me wrong, he called as soon as he got off work and we made plans to go to the markets the next day and to see a movie." Mitch continued with the story, stopping to reach for his drink.
"Eventually I ended up spending more and more nights at his flat a few blocks from college. Then he bought his own flat that I helped him move into and he kept calling it ours. Asking me to help decorate it and get it looking right for us. As we were doing he would start to correct things. My grammar, my language, my posture. It was just little things and he said it was just his way of helping me with improving myself. I didn't argue as I thought it was fair enough. Then one day we were having an argument. It wasn't anything major, just one where you yell at each other. He got agitated and knocked over the new vase I'd bought. He told me he should have done it earlier as it was just fucking ugly. I asked him why he hadn't said anything before and reprimanded him that he should have said something. He swung so quickly I didn't even see it coming. I was on the floor, my jaw aching and he had this bewildered and shocked look on his face. He flew down and scooped me up. He couldn't stop apologising. I ended up having to be the one to calm him down." Mitch continued.
"Eventually we got onto the fact that I was not out at all. He started to put pressure on me. That it didn't feel right that he was a dirty secret. I tried to explain to him that it wouldn't go down well with my religious background. He just didn't seem to really care. In the end I just gave up. I was going home for the Christmas and would tell them then. He told me to call to tell him how it went. I promised him I would." Mitch took a breath and swallowed.
"‘Twas the night before Christmas, as the story goes, and I was sitting downstairs with my parents. My mother looked at me and asked what was on my mind. I told her I was just thinking about something. She told me I could talk to them about anything. So I told them that I was gay. They reacted much as I had thought they would. Mom burst into tears and Dad threw me out. I called Jay several times and he didn't answer. When I did get hold of him, I told him what had happened and he booked me a flight home for later that night. He met me at the airport and took me home to his flat and I just stayed there and barely moved. He was very supportive of me and for the first time, said he loved me."
"New years day, we were recovering from the party the night before and cleaning up the flat and I dropped a bottle and smashed it. He screamed at me and I told him I was sorry, I didn't mean to. He told me it was just like I didn't mean to upset my parents either. I told him he was a cunt and that it didn't even compare seeing as he was the one who insisted I tell them. He hit me saying that it wasn't fair to blame me for my own shortcomings. He hit me again telling me all I he had done was be there for me, who else was going to put up with me, not even my family would. He hit me again saying all he had done was try to help me become a better person. He stopped and just left the room. All I could do was lie there and cry. He walked by telling me to grow up and walked out the front door, slamming it behind him." Mitch told them, tears trickling down his cheeks.
"He came back and apologised. He told me it wouldn't happen again. He begged me not to hate him or leave. I felt for him, I told him I loved him and I wouldn't leave. After that the beatings started to happen regularly, a few weeks between at the best. A few hours at the worst. I'd go to leave and he's scream that I had lied, I didn't love him and would just leave because things were getting hard. Just like everyone else. I stayed every time. Up until I met Andrew and Vanessa at a club. I was attracted to Andrew. He had this smile or this look. I don't know. I led him on a bit I guess. I was afraid if he knew the truth he wouldn't want to dance with me. They got their revenge the next day. Jason beat me pretty badly later on, this time he hit my face though. He normally just hid me where I could cover up. Then he left. I didn't want to sit at my dorm room on my own. So I called Andrew. They took me in at one glance at me." Mitch said, smiling faintly at the memory and looked at Cameron who squeezed his arm gently. Mitch dipped his head and then looked back at Tyler, whose face had gone ashen.
"This is the guy who your friend Andrew is caught up with?" Asked Tyler. Mitch nodded.
"Then I think it's time we returned the favour." Tyler said. Cameron nodded and stood up looking for Andrew. He glanced out the front window to see Andrew get knocked to the ground by Jason who was yelling loudly at him. Cameron sprinted from the table and out the front door.
"Get away from him!" Cameron roared.
"Oh for fuck sake. Do you ever not ride in on your white horse, armour shining? Always at the right time at the right time, you're like a badly written Tom Cruise movie. Who comes up with this type of shit?" Jason spat. Cameron knelt down and looked at his fallen friend.
"Andy? Can you look at me?" Cameron asked gently. Andrew lifted his head and saw Cameron before dropping it again, his cheeks burning with shame.
"Andrew, it's time to leave." Said Jason commandingly. Andrew looked up at Cameron.
"I'm sorry Cam." He started to push himself up and Cameron put his hand gently on Andrew's shoulder.
"I still love you Andy. Come home with us. Come home where you're safe." Cameron said. Andrew looked up in his eyes and searched for something to tell him that they wouldn't hate him.
"Come home." Mitch said quietly from behind Cameron. Andrew reached out for Cameron's hand as Jason lunged forwards again, only to have two sets of hands restrain him.
"Sir, we've witnessed enough of your antics for the day. You're under arrest for aggravated assault. You have the right to remain silent, anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, representation will be provided for you..." Said a police officer. Andrew got distracted from listening as he was pulled firmly into Cameron's arms.
"What happened? How did you get caught up in anything with him?" Asked Cameron.
"After I left Nessa and Mitch at college, I went to a bar. I got drunk and he turned up. I didn't realise who it was until the next day and by the then it was too late. I tried to escape, but he caught me. I thought about running a couple of times, I just was never able to." Andrew said, his voice becoming thick with emotion.
"Why didn't you just call or come and talk to me?" Cameron asked, his voice equally thick.
"I tried but..." Andrew started. There was a loud crack causing them to all snap their heads around in the direction. One of the officers was lying clutching his side and his gun holster empty, the other had his gun out. Jason was lying face down on the sidewalk, blood pooling. His hand clasping the missing weapon and facing their direction. They looked on in disbelief as by them a girl started screaming. She screamed louder and longer until Andrew thought the insanity of the past was mingling with the noise the girl was shrieking. Andrew turned his head and buried it in Cameron's shoulder, who just rocked him gently whispering soothing words to comfort the already tormented mind of his friend. Sirens screamed while the girl beside them wailed and Andrew cried. Cameron stood there being strong for his friend while Mitch guided the pair gently inside.