We
were the last to arrive for Christmas at grandma and every one was complaining.
Dad told them about the shop and how is the sale at Christmas time. Grandma and
the elders were sad because it was the first Christmas without grandma. I
looked for Frank and saw he was looking at me and Luke time to time. His cheeks
were swollen and when he shook hands with me, he pressed it more than needed
and caused me pain. For answer I tripped him when he was going to shook hands
with dad. He fell on dad and his hand poked dad on stomach. Uncle yelled at him
and called him useless. I was satisfied with this and saw Luke was hiding his
smile.
I
was looking for my bag because I want to change my clothes. Mom said Luke had
it and asked him where it was. Luke said he took it to the room and told me to
follow him. I had to follow him and when we were in the room he closed the door
and bolted it.
“Why
did you bolt the door?” I asked?
“Because
you need privacy for change your clothes.” He said coolly.
“Then
why do you staying?”
“I
wouldn’t look.” He promised. His face was firm and he sat on the chair looking
opposite of me.
I
know he wouldn’t go so, I removed my jeans and shirt quickly and put on my half
trouser and T shirt. Then I walked to the door and stopped a moment.
“Is
this is your room?” I asked.
“Yes,
“he smiled. “This is my room and Frank is staying with me.”
My
heart ached. What I thought was true.
“If
you want share with us, you’re welcome.” He invited.
“No,
thanks…. I’m not staying with you.” I informed him and opened the door.
He
laughed. “No problem. I have Frank.”
I
punished the floor for this and went to the garden outside. Nobody was in the
garden so I sat on the lawn and cried. This is so pathetic. I was looking for
the Christmas and it turned out to this. I got angry to angrier. I saw Luke is
coming with Frank and I hide the other side behind some plants.
They
are talking about Christmas coming after two days.
“What
you got for me?” Frank was asking.
“You
will get it on Christmas day.” Luke answered. “It’s not to tell but I can say
it is something special.”
“I
got something special for you too…” Frank was beaming.
Suddenly
I remembered my present for Frank. It was only a pen set for him and not something
special. Dad was critical for presents and he told it would be something for
daily use. Not any fancy items. So, I bought a pen set for him and another for
Chris. Oh god..!
“You
didn’t come last night as you promised. I was waiting. ” Frank was accusing
Luke. I sharpened my ears.
“I
was tired and asleep before I knew.” Luke said. “And there is other nights
coming.”
“Josh
is here and he will be with me.” Frank said. But he is no problem. He is a
sleepy head.’
“Yeah”
Luke agreed.
So,
they are planning for the night. I want to cry loud. They are having their act
and I would be the spectator for their show. But it wouldn’t happen. I
determined. I will not sleep in Frank’s room or Luke’s. But why Luke is
sleeping another room? May be they wouldn’t want to raise some doubts.
“You
can shift to my room today. I wouldn’t disturb you.” Frank told.
“No.
I want by myself and need quietness when I’m studying.” Luke said. “Also your
room is facing the street and I can't focus on my study. My room is the other side
and the end of house. Nothing will disturb me and no one is staying the nearby
rooms.”
Frank
laughed and said something which I didn’t hear. Luke promised him he would
visit him after midnight when everyone is asleep. I sat there eavesdrop them
and made some plans. I want to be awake and see everything and then I would
write Luke a letter after the Christmas and would tell him what I see earlier
and now and wouldn’t or didn’t believe him and his fake love. He can have Frank
and I’m leaving. So be it! And I will never speak him again.
Later
when Luke tries to speak, I avoided him. When we cousins were sitting in the
garden and speaking about days I told them about Chris. Luke was there and was
listening. I was talking about Chris.
“Chris
is my best friend I had ever got, “I told them. “He is best because he never
lied to me or hides something from me.”
“How
did you know that?” Elise, one of
twins asked.
“Because
he told me everything about him and what happened in his life. He was saying
that friends need to open their minds to each other and shouldn’t hide
anything”
“It’s
true. Best friends are always doing that.” Alice, another twin agreed.
“But
someone is not like him.” I had growing horns on my head. “They are saying how
much they like us and love us but always are hiding something and pretending to
us. Even we are cousins.”
Everyone
looked Luke and he was looking at the sky. He was smiling.
“Someone
have to be like that.” Luke said playfully. “Everyone can’t be like Chris. They
have to hide something.”
“Luke
is not like that.” Frank said suddenly. “I know.”
I
bite my tongue because I’m going to say something nastily.
“What’s
got into you two..? Emily asked and looks me and Luke. “You two are writing
letters and Josh is happy to see you Luke until you called. And when he sees
you at station he is not speaking to you.”
I
saw Frank’s face darkened at this information. Thanks to my sister.
“Because
I lied to him I’m coming two days after.” Luke said. “He is a baby and babies got
a right to be devil, Emily.” My sister laughed at this.
“I
know how to make angels from devils.” Luke said mischievously.
I
turned from him and start speaking with my other cousins except Frank. We
didn’t talk whole the time when I was here for the Christmas.
After
dinner we were sitting in the main hall. Everyone is saying goodnight and
leaving for their room to sleep. Grandma had left us early and us and uncle
with Frank and Luke were sitting and talking. Emily said goodnight and went to
her room. I yawned and dad told me to go and sleep. Luke gets up from the sofa
and took my hand,
“Come,
little baby... I’ll take you to the room.” He said to me.
I
want to pull my hand but everyone was there so I obeyed him. I look Frank and
saw his face darkening. He carried me to his shoulder and walked to the stairs.
When we were away from others I hissed;
“I
can walk…” I hissed to his ears.
“I
know, but I want to carry you…” he said jokingly.
He
didn’t go to Frank’s room but the other end. I struggled.
“I’m
not sleeping in your room.” I objected, “I’ll disturb you.”
“Oh...yes...
you are...” he stopped. “So, you hear us in the garden.”
I
was silent. But I struggled to free. He reached his room and opened the door.
Entering with me still in his shoulder struggling, he closed the door with a
kick and locked it from inside. I was start to hitting him with my hands and
legs. He laid me to his bed on my back and he was lying on top of me. He pinned
my struggling legs and hands with his. He is pinning me to the bed.
“Get
off from me or I’ll yell” I threatened him
“You
can yell how much you want. Nobody will hear you.” He smiled; “This is an old
house. No one will hear you from a closed room.”
So,
I shut my mouth and lay still under him. I was enjoying the warmth coming from
him and it felt good. He was lying on top of me and his breath tickled my
cheeks. He brushed his chin on my cheeks and the thorn like beards tickled me.
I struggled and he forced his body on me.
“I
can't breathe….” I complained.
“If
you promise you will not struggle I’ll release” he said.
“I
promise…” I said.
He
released his pinning me and slipped to the floor. He looked down to me and
winked. I was not struggling. He straightened the wrinkled sheets on the bed and
took a thick blanket. It was winter and the weather was cold. I was looking
him. I was happy after the little play I had played and together with Luke
alone. We can speak the things like we wrote to each other and no one would
hear.
“You
are not going to Frank?” I asked.
“No…
I lied to him...” he said. “I want to be with my little baby so I selected this
room and told him I want to study.”
“I
will disturb you...” I said playfully.
“You
are welcome.” He went to the switch and turned off the light the turn on the
low voltage bulb. He unbuckled his belt and removed it from his waist then
removed his shirt and hanged it on the wall. He was starting to undress him but
stopped and came near the bed lay beside me. He was shy to undress himself in
front of me.
“You
were sleeping in your underwear then.” I told him.
“Not
today…” he said.
He
pulled the blanket over us and turned to me and crossing his right hand over my
chest pulled me to him.
“It’s
cold out side.” He said. I didn’t say anything. We were silent. I turned to him
and put my left hand under his arm and hugged him. He resisted for one moment
then his hand pressed me to him. We are facing each other and looking into each
others eyes.
“You
know my little baby….” Luke said softly, I first saw you when uncle brought you
here and you were one month old… I was very proud and carrying you wherever I
was going and you liked it. If I left you for one minute you would cry. Your
eyes were following me and you liked to sleep with me even you are very little.
You would tight your little fingers on my tummy and sleep. I was very happy
having a little brother to pet and still I’m. Frank was very jealous of you
because you are like an angel….”
He
stops his whispering and softly kissed my forehead. I felt the softness
toughing on my thighs is hardening. He took a deep breath and turned on his
back setting his head on his arms. He was embarrassed for his untimely
hardening. I raise my head and set my cheek on his hairy chest. My hand was
resting on his stomach and my fingers curled the hair.
“When
you were a little grown you are sleeping with me like this ….” He sighed.
“Then
you hadn’t got any hairs on your body.” I stated. We smiled.
He
freed his left hand under his head and wrapped around me patting softly. We
were both shy and he was afraid to make a move. We were silent for some minutes
then someone knocked the door. We startled at the sound and looked each other.
Luke’s
hand left me and he gets up from the bed to the floor and stood. I saw his huge
bulge in front of him and he was blushing at I had seen his erection. He
shrugged and walked to the door. On the way he opened book that was on the
table and switch on the light then opened the door…
“Frank….!
It’s you?” I heard him asking. Frank? What’s he want?
“What
are you doing?” Frank asked as he gets in the room.
“Reading.”
Luke replied and he was angry for the interruption. “What are you doing here
now?”
“I
was waiting for you and I was worried…” he said and saw me lying on the bed.
“What’s he doing here in your bed?” he looked at me as he wants to murder me.
“Sleeping...”
Luke got angrier. “He doesn’t like to sleep in your room. So he is staying with
me.”
“But
you were saying I would disturb you. No he is….” Frank was miserable.
“Not
he… “Luke interrupted him. “Now you go… I want to read some more…”
Frank
turned to go and Luke followed him to the door. Frank looked at him expectedly
and Luke shook his head, “You go and sleep. I’m not coming…”
Luke
locked the door and turned off the light then return to the bed. The bulge he
had was gone. He sighed and climb beside me on the bed.
“Why
didn’t you go with him?” I asked.
“I
can't leave you here alone…” he replied. “And I don’t want to go.”
Luke
was lying on his back and starred the ceiling. I rose and pulled the blanket
over us. I slipped close to him because of the cold.
“Cold…?”
Luke asked and then turned to me. He embraced me with his right arm and pressed
me to him. I wrapped my hand around him. We were facing each other and our
breaths mingled. He was looking into my eyes and closed them. Moments passed
and we were silent. Luke was stroking my back softly. We both know we weren’t
sleeping.
“Baby…”
Luke whispered.
“Ummmmmm…..”
I answered.
“You
had seen me and Frank then.” He said and I didn’t say anything.
“That
night… I know you are not sleeping….and you saw what we did…” Luke continued...
“What you had seen was not love…only lust… Frank didn’t like you and want to
win me over you…. I know this and I used him cruelly…. I don’t love him baby…”
I
was silent because I know Luke hadn’t finished.
“I
have to tell you this ….. I liked and loved my little baby brother…. Years
passed and it grows with me …..” Luke was whispering... ”I didn’t knew I’m in
love with my little baby…..I’m afraid to tell you but I want you know…. I love
you…baby…”
“I
know…this for a long time…” I whispered and stroked his back.
“We
can't tell anyone…” Luke sighed. “They wouldn’t understand us….”
I
nodded. He kissed my lips and suddenly we were shy because we had opened our
minds to each other.
“We
will sleep now.” Luke smiled.
“Yes...”
I said.
We
were in each others arms and tightened our hug and waited for sleep to
come.