Chris didn’t left me or went to his work for
two days. When dad called at night, he told them I had a fever and taking rest.
And do not worry for me because he is with me and taking good care of me. John
spent the day with us and the second day he came with Daniel. Daniel was with
us about two hours and talking with Chris. Then he left us but John stayed. At
night Chris was saying about us, Harry, our future and I don’t remember what
else.
The pain and swelling had eased second day
but Chris was afraid. The sting I had when I was walking had gone. Chris was
afraid to touch me because he told it cause me pain but stick to his body. I
told him his warmth would heal me soon. Third day I made him go to the library
and do his work but he was back within two hours because he told had couldn’t
concentrate. That night I forced him to have sex. He was terrified it would
hurt me more but I said I want it tonight or he can forget me forever. We did
it not our latest style but as earlier style. Chris told he can wait for couple
of years and made me promise I wouldn’t make him.
That week I received Luke’s letter. Chris was
not there with me when the postman arrived. He was out to meet some old family.
Luke was happy I explained my feelings for him and was in competition with me.
He had written six foolscaps full! He remembered our old days when we were
together and how I had followed him everywhere. He had written that I will
understand Frank and him when I will grow at least eighteen. He said he didn’t
love Frank as he loves me and what’s going between them is called with another
name and he would tell me when we will together at Christmas. But don’t worry –
he wrote – that wouldn’t interfere with us! He had asked about Chris and I felt
the slight jealousy he having there.
I hide the letter with the early one. I told
Chris about Luke’s letter but didn’t show him or tell the details he had
written. Only what he had written about our family in Pondicherry. I said we
are like Harry and he and he laughed. I told him Luke is my big brother and he
is the only one I got because Frank and I are born enemies. That night he
confessed that once he had an affair with one of his younger cousin and they
had sex. I told we didn’t have an affair but only brothers. And I not worried
about his cousin because it was past. But I didn’t tell him about the crush
between Luke and me. It is our little secret.
Our days passed happily and excitedly. My
parents and sister had arrived on Sunday morning and aunt and grandma at
evening. Both were brought present for Chris and me. They asked us about the
fever I had and Chris said it was just a fever because of the rain. School
opened Monday after the holidays, so I spent my evenings with grandma and after
with Chris.
Emily was in cloud nine because she had met a
boy at the old man’s funeral in Bombay. His name is Kevin and lived in London.
He is one of the relative of the dead old man and came with his family for the
funeral. Emily and Kevin fell in love at the first sight. He is twenty two and helping
his father in their family firm in England. Mom and dad didn’t know about Kevin
so, Emily told me not tell them. Emily said he returned to London but take our
address so he can write her. She promised me to show his letter. I was thrilled
because I can see now another love letter other than Luke’s. I didn’t tell her
about Luke and me because she wouldn’t understand.
John science exhibition came and gone. He won
the first price for his presentation. He had created an ideal village he wants
to live in. John had arranged a little party for four of us and he thanked
Chris for his help. He also thanked Daniel for his moral support. I was
excluded from the thanks.
I had written Luke and remembered him about
their visiting us at Christmas and was waiting for his reply. It was middle
week of September. Monsoon hadn’t stopped because we get monsoon here for end
of November. Then one day John was absent from school and nobody in our class
knows what happened. He was well when we walked to home last evening and parted
and didn’t say he was going anywhere. I was worried and after lunch I went to
meet Daniel if he would know.
Daniel was also absent and I was worried more
now for John and Daniel. I waited for last bell to ring and was out from the
class at first sound. I told mom I was going to John’s and ran to his house.
When I was half distance from his house I met John and Daniel walking in front
of me. I called them to stop and ran to them.
“Where were you two and why didn’t you two
come school today? What happened?” I asked in one breath then looked at their
face.
Their face was saddened and it seems John was
crying whole day. Daniel smiled sadly...
“John… why are you crying..?” I asked
anxiously.
“I am leaving him.” Daniel said softly.
“What..? When…?” I was shocked.
“He is going Sweden.” Now John had some fuel.
“His cousin invited him. So he is going.”
“It’s not like that.” Daniel said
sorrowfully. “I had written him about my plans. I know John told you about
this.” He had a knowing look. I nodded.
“He has arranged everything for me because I
can continue my study there. He knows about me and John and said me we can't
have a future here. After completing my senior secondary here I can join
college there and he will arrange some job for me after college hours. So, when
John will join me there I have some money for us. I didn’t tell my parents
about this but only him. He was crying mad and throwing things at me and saying
I’m leaving him for good. I told him that not so but didn’t understand. Now,
tell me what I will do? If I continue here with him what’s the future for us
here? It’s only for three years and then we will be together and I will come
here for vacation. But…. You tell me..?”
He was looking me hopefully.
So, this is the reason both were absent
today.
“He tried to run away today…” Daniel was
saying. “He said his mom he had a stomach ache and can't go school. They
believed him and when they are going office told me inform his teacher. But I
knew what’s upsetting his stomach and stay at home. When we are alone I went to
him and he was packing his things.” He laughed miserably. His eyes were filled.
“John...” I called him with a firm sound. He
looked at me as a convict looking.
“Look….” I said. “You were happy when you
told me about Daniel’s plan for the future and you are proud of him. But what
happened to you now because they are coming true?”
“That…”
“Here is nothing for you or Daniel.” I was a
philosopher. “There you can lead a better life and no one will show a finger at
you. You can join him there when you complete your high school here. Till then
you can't tell anybody about you and Daniel. It’s for your good.”
He was listening like an eager child. I
continued,
“And for the years, you can spend your
vacations together. Daniel promised you that. Also the short parting deepens
love...”
Daniel smiled shyly. Johns face had a little
smile too. I took a deep breath.
“Thanks…” Daniel said softly to me.
“Welcome…” I smiled.
“How’s Chris?” Daniel asked teasingly.
“Fine as ever…” I blushed.
We were silent then and walked slowly.
“Josh… “John called me suddenly. “Thanks… I
was foolish to think he is leaving me forever.”
Daniel patted over his shoulder, “never...”
he said.
I had to leave them and I walked slowly to
home.
I told about John and Daniel to Chris. He was
silent for some moments and sighed. I knew we both were thinking about our
oncoming separation.
“You will behave well when I’m going.” Chris
advised softly. “As you told to John and only think about our future together.
Okay…”
“I will…” I promised.
That day Emily showed me Kevin’s. I didn’t
read the letter and told Emily that it is fine she showed the letter but it is
finest to not read any other ones letter especially then if it is a love letter
for someone. She blushed first time in front of me and hugged.
That week I had one love letter for myself
and it was from Luke. We each knew what was going between us but we didn’t tell
each another openly. But we could read between the lines. We were waiting
eagerly for Christmas.
John was in his earlier period after his
shattering and was in best moods. He and Daniel was together whole the time if
it was in school or out. But nobody doubts them because they behaved like
friends when they are with others. But with me they are shameless and always
were kissing, hugging, patting etc…
Me and Chris was spending our days happily.
He was busier with his research and sometimes for days we didn’t met. He was
going to distant places to meet people and would go early and come late. And I
was sleeping when he was home. But he invented times for we had a little chat
and nothing more. For Sunday we had our time and we had sex violently then. It
was true that the distance deepens love. Till now he didn’t broke his promise
about the hurting. We didn’t do that way from the day he took my virginity. He
told me that can wait for couple of years.
The end of November aunt said me they are
going Calcutta for Christmas. They can't go Canada because Chris didn’t want to
go. He asked his dad to come here for Christmas but he said no. he had some
urgent work to do and Harry is going to the camp and also his sisters. Chris
was angry and he told aunt she can arrange for Christmas. So she settled it for
Calcutta and for ten days. Chris was sad for this but he couldn't do anything.
Because he asked her and now he was trapped.
I told him he must go because I would get
some experience. He was mad at me and we didn’t speak for two days. Then he
came to me and said what I want for Christmas. I told him what he would like, I
would like it too. We didn’t have different likes because we are one soul. He
didn’t speak but crushed me in his arms.
Luke was called and said they are coming for
Christmas. I was happy because the long waited time had come. I told Chris my
big brother is coming for Christmas and he said jokingly don’t forget him
because of my big brother. I told him forgetting him is impossible if I’m dead
and in my grave and ran from his arms because Emily was coming to us.
Two weeks before Christmas grandma called
from Pondicherry and told dad she wants her children and grandchildren together
with her for Christmas because it was the first Christmas after grandpa’s
death. Dad agreed and declared the news to us. My heart sank because I was
looking for the Christmas here with Luke. Now we are going to grandmas and Luke
would be with Frank and their nights would repeat. I could see their act in
front of me.
Dad arranged for our journey and mom and
Emily made cake and other things for grandma. Our total family would be there
for Christmas and it’s going to be a family reunion and I hate the crowds and
cursed god himself. Now I would be alone without Chris or Luke.
Chris was going two days before of us and I
spent the night with him. We were talking to each other and had sex four times
that night. We were exhausted the next morning when we wake because we had
slept late. We went to the railway station with them and I cried when the train
left with carrying them. Next day we packed and start our journey to
Pondicherry. I slept whole the time through the journey and was sleeping when
the train reached Pondicherry.
Dad had informed uncle about the time our
train reaching the station and he told someone will wait there for us. Luke had
called me and said he would be late for two days but his other family would be
there. He told me I should wait for him two days because he wouldn’t be there
when we reach. I said okay but you would be with Frank and he laughed.
But when we reached Luke was there waiting
for us. He had come yesterday and came to receive us. I was angry and shocked
to see him and pushed him away when he tried to hug me. He just laughed and
announced he wants to see this and so he lied to me about his late coming. I stayed
away from him and didn’t talk to him when he tried.