September 9 2005
The past 20 minutes had been quite eventful for me. I came out for the first time and made out with the guy of my dreams. Could this have gotten any better? Of course, but then again, it could always get worse too.
Derrick finally broke the silence, “I just don’t know who I am anymore.” He had a pained look on his face as he said these words. “Tommy, all these things have been flying through my head. I’m just so goddamn confused. Did you go through this too?”
“Actually no, there was no one moment when it really hit me. It was just kind of a gradual development.” I placed my hand on his thigh and could see a slight smile come to his face.
Just then, there was a knock on the door, and we both jumped slightly. I got up and opened it to see Mr. Brenly on the other side.
“Time to wrap it up, guys. I’m going home and locking up.”
Derrick had already begun putting the soprano sax back in the case and I gathered the music. We both walked out of the band room, side by side, Mr. Brenly trailing behind us. We kept walking down the hall way as he stayed behind and locked the door.
I stopped in the lobby and looked around to make sure no one else was near. Derrick stopped after a few steps and looked back at me, with that beautiful smile on his face. I swear every part of him was perfect. “Derrick, we need to talk about this.” I kept ever alert, making sure no one walked in unexpectedly.
He motioned with his head out the door. “Let’s go for walk.” Luckily, Baraboo’s local zoo was only a few blocks away and had a nice route down by the river. We walked there without either of us saying a word. He motioned to a nearby bench and we sat down.
It was a beautiful sunny day with just a slight breeze. He looked out over the river, maybe waiting for me to start.
“I really like you, Derrick. This is going to sound silly, but I really did have a crush on you last year.”
“I know. I caught you staring all the time.” Crap, I thought I had always been so subtle about it.
“So, where does this leave us Derrick?”
“I really like you too Tommy. You’re helping me discover the true me I’ve been afraid to show all these years.”
He placed his right hand on my left and squeezed gently.
Derrick was a pretty popular guy at school, so we would have to be careful. “Derrick, I’ll understand if you want to keep this secret for a while. I don’t think kids at the high school are very understanding yet.” And they weren’t. Gays weren’t something people normally talked about in Baraboo. Don’t ask, don’t tell seemed to be the general consensus.
“I’m just not ready to come out yet Tommy. I mean, I’m not even sure if this is…right”
“I understand completely.”
He looked around briefly, then gave me a quick little kiss. I was in absolute bliss. (sorry about the rhyme)
We sat holding hands on the park bench for what must have been half an hour, just staring at the river and enjoying each others presence. He finally broke the silence. “Do you wanna go see a movie sometime?”
“I’d love to.” I wanted to say ‘hell yes,’ but that would have spoiled the mood.
“Great. I’ll call you tonight.” We both stood up and held each other for a few seconds. We shared a brief kiss, and he went walking back up towards the school. I only lived a few blocks away, so I just walked home.
I could hardly concentrate on my Calculus homework that night. I was waiting for that phone call for what seemed to be forever. I was a love struck boy almost drooling over the object of my desire. Finally, around 7:00 the phone rang. I was up in my room and didn’t have a phone there, so my mom answered it.
“Tommy, phone for you.” I ran into my parents’ room, picked up the cordless, and ran back into my room, closing the door to be extra careful.
“Hey,” was all I could come up with.
“Hey,” came that sexy voice from the other end. “I was looking at the paper and found a few good movies.” We talked for the next ten minutes before we agreed on a movie tomorrow night. We also agreed to come separately and meet in the theatre. It hurt me that I couldn’t be open to the world yet about my love for him, but just being there with him made it all worthwhile.
We talked for another 30 minutes about school and other junk before we finally said goodnight. My fantasies were coming true. I slept well that night.
I felt his warm body slowly rubbing against mine. With every breath, his beautifully chiseled chest rose and fell, all the time filling my back with his incredible body heat. I turned to look into his face. He was gazing again at me with those deep hazel eyes. He leaned in to kiss me as the alarm began to blare in my ear. Damn. A dream. A good dream, but still a dream. I grudgingly pulled myself out of bed and headed downstairs where two chocolate doughnuts awaited me on a TV tray in the living room. Friday had been doughnut day in the Stenson household for as long as I could remember. I finished breakfast, took a shower, brushed my teeth, etc. Before I headed out the door, I gave my mom a quick kiss (yes I still kiss my mom, you wanna fight about it!?).
The day dragged on forever, as it tends to do when you’re anticipating something later in the day. I couldn’t keep my mind off Derrick, which turned out to be a bad thing, since I almost lit my lab station on fire during a chemistry experiment.
The day finally ended and I returned home, plopped on the couch, and watched TV for a few hours. We agreed to meet at the theatre at 7:00. When mom and dad came home at 4:30, I told them I was going to see a movie with friends, and as usual, they asked no further questions. It was a good idea to obey my parents for 18 years of my life, since it earned me their complete trust and love.
6:30 rolled around, and I hopped into the car to start the short drive to the Dells. I arrived at the theatre at 6:45, bought my ticket to the agreed upon show, and waited inside the theatre. Within a few minutes, Derrick showed up at the theatre, looking around for a few moments before he spied me and let out that killer smile. He sat down beside me and the movie started in a few minutes.
Once the show had started and the theatre was completely dark, he reached over and placed his left hand on my thigh. I covered it with my right and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt so completely at ease, I could have fallen asleep right there. After a few minutes, he took his hand off my thigh and moved it around to my further shoulder, hugging me closely into him.
Every now and then, we would share a variety of kisses, some just quick little pecks, and some long and passionate. I don’t think either of us really paid attention to the movie, we just enjoyed being able to share our affection toward each other in public, even if no one else could see us.
We made sure to get back into a normal, non-loving position before the movie finished. As the lights came on, we gave each other quick little smiles and nudges before getting up.
We walked outside the theatre together and parted ways as we went to our own cars.
We continued dating in secret for 3 weeks. Sometimes we’d see a movie, sometimes go out biking, and sometimes, when we got up the courage, went out for supper. Of course, we always traveled to a nearby town as to make sure not to be noticed. I had not yet come out to my parents, or anyone else for that matter, and I could only assume that Derrick had not come out to anyone either.
The furthest we had ever gone was making out, and occasionally groping when we were alone at one of our houses. Derrick was slowly growing more confident around me, but still maintained a good distance whenever I was in band with him. I do think I caught him giving me few quick looks every now and then when I was playing in band.
When we were talking one night, I brought up the idea of a picnic at Devil’s Lake, a local state park. Derrick seemed all for it. And we planned to make a weekend afternoon trip out of it. I borrowed a basket and blanket from my house and packed several sandwiches and sodas.
I started out biking to his house, which was literally on the other side of the tracks. Baraboo had train tracks separating the older half of town from the newer. I lived in the newer, more developed section of town; Derrick lived in the older (for lack of a better word) half. I approached his house and saw him already waiting in his front lawn. We exchanged “greetings” and headed out.
The bike out to the lake only took about 20 minutes. We chained our bikes to a nearby rack and I unloaded the tied-on basket from my bike. It was about noon on a beautiful sunny day, while a slight breeze kept the temperature at a comfortable mid 60s. Plus we were by a lake anyway.
“Where do you want to go?” Derrick politely asked
“I have a place just a little off the trail that I like to go to sometimes.”
“Great, lead the way.” I could sense that we were to close to home and Derrick felt nervous holding my hand in a public place still, so I walked a few feet ahead of him.
We trudged up the dirt path until I spotted the large, fallen tree that marked the beginning of our off-road journey. I turned off the path and began walking through the brush. I peaked back occasionally to make sure Derrick was still there. It took another 5 minutes or so before we came to the final tree standing in our way. I pushed aside some of the branches and stepped into the meadow which I had gone to so many times before just to clear my head. I set the basket down and heard Derrick brush away the last set of branches.
I awaited his reaction and was fully satisfied. He stood looking out over the landscape, mouth agape. This was one of my favorite spots, since it was an open meadow which was inclined enough to see over the tree line at the farther end to reveal the beautiful landscape of the Bluffs.
Derrick finally turned to me and commented, “Tommy, this is incredible!” I just answered with a big smile.
I laid out the blanket on a nice place of level ground and unpacked our lunch.
We both ate in silence, gazing out over the splendor of nature and contently basking in each others presence.
After a little while, Derrick put his arm around me and held me close. We began kissing, just playfully at first. Our mouths began to open wider and his tongue started licking around my teeth. Soon enough out tongues were engaged in an all out battle for supremacy.
I was now sitting on his lap, facing him. I placed my hands under his shirt and began exploring every inch of his back with my hungry hands. He kept one hand around me, holding me tightly to him, while his other stroked through my hair and pulled me deeper into our passionate kiss.
Now this was as far as it had ever gotten between us, but something that day made me go farther. Perhaps my smaller head was doing more thinking.
I could feel my crotch pressed against his, and I know we both felt each other’s hard-ons. Our breathing became more deep and erratic and I knew what was about to come (no pun intended). I removed my hands from his back and began un-buttoning the shirt he was wearing. Most guys where an undershirt with this kind of button down, but Derrick didn’t, so I soon had a full glimpse of that glorious chest. By this time, we had slowly lowered our entangled bodies so that he was lying down, with his back on the ground. I broke the kiss and simply stopped to take in all of his beauty. Firmly toned pecs followed by an incredible six-pack, lightly fuzzed with a treasure trail that would soon beckon to me.
I could have cum just staring at this god, but thankfully I didn’t; this would have wrecked the mood.
My hands began to massage his broad shoulders as I began suckling and nibbling his left nipple; at this, he threw his head back and began moaning softly.
After moving to the other nipple for a little while, I began kissing down his chest and onto his beautifully sculpted abs. I nestled my nose against his treasure trail for a bit and took in the heavenly scent that was Derrick. After a few more minutes of play and tease, I finally took my eyes on the ultimate prize. I gave Derrick one final look to get the go-ahead; he stared deep into my eyes with an anticipation and lust that sent me over the deep end. And yet there was something else. As our souls spoke through our gaze, I could see in his eyes a compassion and caring that put me completely at ease.
I wanted to do this, not only to please him, but myself as well. I know that nothing would have made me happier than showing him the love and compassion that I held in my heart for him.
I unbuttoned the button on his khaki shorts and slowly unzipped the zipper, drawing the process out just to tease him a little more. I pulled his shorts down to his ankles to see his boxers with a huge bulge in them, telling me he was looking forward to this too. I slowly pulled down his boxers and beheld the object of my lust and desires for over a year. Let me rephrase that. Derrick was the object of my lust and desires for over a year; this was just an added bonus.
It was 7 ½ inches long, thick (not 7 ½ inches), cut, and ended in a beautiful mushroom head. I had seen many others before (again via the magic of internet) that were way longer, but this possessed a certain beauty that beat out all the rest. I wanted to claim this as my own and I quickly set about the task.
I had gone over this scene so many times before in my head. Making a mental play by play on what I would do to give him the absolute best I could. But my mind suddenly chucked this long held plan and began what just felt natural.
I stroked the side of his cock with my hand as I gently began encircling his head with my tongue. This sent very visible shivers through his body. As I began to stroke the inside of his hairless muscular thighs I began to take the head into my mouth and continued playing with it with my tongue, making sure to keep my teeth far away from the action. As I did this, I could see Derrick fling his head back again, jaw shuttering, and moaning loudly. I was glad I chose a very secluded spot; it was far enough away and had enough trees in between so that no one could hear us (and by us, I mean him). After a few more minutes of teasing his head, I felt his hands placed gently onto my head. It was time.
I slowly began to take the shaft into my mouth, inch by glorious inch, making sure to keep my tongue on active duty along the way. His hands were slowly urging me on as I felt his head hit the back of my mouth. I instinctively yawned and felt the head gently curve into my throat. I half expected to gag as this happened, but surprisingly, it went in with ease (perfect fit). After another inch or so, my nose finally hit his well manicured bush. I breathed in deeply through my nose, partially because I wanted to take in his heavenly scent again, and partially because I needed the air. I kept his head deep in my throat and began humming and moaning to further excite it. He nearly screamed as I did this, so I decided to draw it out a little longer by stopping this. I slowly pulled my head back until I felt the end of his shaft hit my lips. At this I went straight back in and began building up a rhythm. I used one of my free hands to play with his balls, which were becoming very tense by now. After a few more minutes, I felt his cock start to pulse and decided to put on the finishing touches by keeping his head in my mouth and jacking him off by hand until the end.
As he came, his body jerked almost violently. It must have been five or six shots before he finally stopped, and I took in as much as I could. Even with as much swallowing as I did, I still felt his warm cum trickle over my lips. I’ll admit that I had tasted my own on occasion, but it was nothing like his; his was sweet and smooth, almost like nectar.
I wiped the last bit off my lips and licked my fingers like a kid who had just finished a box of chocolates. It tasted so incredible; I just couldn’t get enough of it.
I took each of us a few more minutes to catch our breaths. We had both become sweaty from the whole process. He looked me deep in the eyes again with that melting gaze. There was such love and caring in those eyes. He even began to tear slightly. I could see he was struggling with words when he finally said, “Tommy…that was the most…incredible…loving thing anyone has ever done for me. There is no way I can tell you how much I love you.” He paused for a moment. “Now there’s something I’ve always wanted to do to you. Would you do this for me?” he asked as he pulled up his boxers and shorts, leaving his shirt off.
“Of course Derrick, anything my love.”
He surprised even me when he motioned for me to lie down beside him, turned my back to him, and wrapped me in his arms, and pulled the blanket over us. I laid my head back into his chest and listened to the lullaby that was his heartbeat. Even though it was about 2:00 in the afternoon, we were both worn out from the last half hour. I don’t know which of us fell asleep first…did it really matter? I was in the arms of the man I loved more than anything on this Earth. Life was good. But of course I should have known better. Experience has taught me that when life hands you lemons, it soon squeezes them in your eyes.