“Scotty, how the fuck are we going to last six more weeks?”
“Oh shit,” he moaned, “I don’t even want to think about it.” He ran his fingertips up and down my back and it felt great. Our breathing slowed down a bit and I started to get sleepy….that is until he suggested a dip in the hot tub.
“Clothes on or off?” I asked.
He grinned at me, and with his fingertip tilted my head up to meet his. His kisses were dynamite. “Let’s get to that tub,” he sighed.
* * * * * * * * * *
Scott pulled his shorts back up and we went inside. Knowing that we still had people living in the studio we got into the hot tub with our shorts on. Even though it was around 2:00 in the morning we were really taking a chance out on the deck, regardless of the blanket surrounding us. Six more weeks was going to be hard to take. I knew I would have loved to experiment some more on Scott but I didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable if they ran into us.
We sat side by side in the tub as the water started to heat up. He had his arms up on the edge of the tub and I backed myself into his body. Then he draped his hand over my shoulder. I leaned over and put my face into the bubbling water, blowing some of my own bubbles. I looked back up and wiped the water off of my face. “You like doing that, don’t you,” he said.
“Never really thought about it,” I smiled. Beneath the water I put my hand on his thigh. “I’ll tell you what, hoss, I never expected you to do what you did tonight.”
“The singing at the bar. I had no idea you could sing, let alone sing a song like that. Man,” I said nudging him, “you got some set of lungs on you. Among other things.” He smiled big at that. “Seriously though, I’ve never had someone do something like that for me before. Thank you. It made me feel really special.” I lay my head on his shoulder.
He started stroking my hair. “I’ll tell you what,” he laughed a bit, “I was never more nervous in my life.”
“Deanna told me that you used to sing barbershop? How cool is that! I take it you sang lead.”
“Why’d you stop?”
“Oh, I just got a little bit busy with all the construction stuff. I had fun while I did it, though.”
“You have a really nice voice.”
“So have you performed before?”
“Only with the chorus. I never really did any solos. That was one of the reasons I was so damn nervous. Usually I have about eight other leads to lean back on in a chorus of about fifty guys. Just me up there...well that was a bit intimidating.”
I thought about what he had said. “What was the other reason you were nervous?”
“Geeze, look who I was singing for.”
“What’s that supposed to mean,” I looked up at him.
“Dude, you’re like the friggin’ music man. You know so much about music. It’s like in your soul—that much is obvious. I was just afraid I’d screw it up. Oh yeah, coming out in public like that was a bit odd,” he laughed. “You convinced me, though.”
“Yeah, you’re just really a stand-up guy. It’s like nothing bothers you. Plus you kinda took the lead in coming out to your parents and on this show. I figured you had some chutzpah to do that so I could do it too. I told you that you’re a brave guy.”
“Chutzpah, huh? Well I was a stand-up guy out on that deck.” He laughed at that. “And a kneel-down guy too. Next time it’s in a bed.”
He squeezed me playfully against him. “When’s that gonna be.”
“Shit, who knows. It’s too damn hard worrying about if other people are gonna come waltzing in. We’ll just have to play it safe for a while,” I said.
Scott let out a low rumble. “You’re probably right, dammit.”
I rubbed his leg a bit. “It’s ok, we’ll make it. I’ve waited this long—a few more weeks won’t kill me.”
“Thanks,” he said with mock hurt. I rolled my eyes at him and pinched his nipple. “Hey! Don’t get me started again,” this time with a sexual undertone to his voice.
“You nut,” I said, sinking back down against him.
We sat there silently for a few minutes before Scott asked, “Why have you waited so long, Logan? To be with a guy.”
I let out a breath and sat there thinking about that for a while.
“I hate the answer,” I said.
“Because the answer to that question is that I’ve been too selfish, and that itself is embarrassing” I said simply.
“Well, if I don’t get really involved then I don’t get hurt. You know that,” I said referring to our conversation the previous week. “It’s like self-preservation.”
“Yeah, but if you don’t get involved, then you don’t get loved.”
I thought about that for a second. “You know, lots of people throw the word ‘love’ around like a frisbee and they want you to get all warm and runny.”
Scott sat back away from me and I turned to look at him. “Shit, man, you sound bitter.”
“Not bitter, just…I don’t know.” I put my face into the water again, then felt his hands on my shoulders pulling me back out.
“Cut that out,” he said. “ ’Just’ what?”
I flipped the water out of my face. “I’m scared, Scott, ok? I spent years with people acting one way toward me but then showing their true colors by leaving me out. I thought I had extended myself then and look where it got me.”
After a moment he said, “You know that’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve heard in a while.” I looked back at him with a surprised look. “I’m serious Mike, that’s just a load of crap. High school was high school and now it’s over. People are different—they change. Hell man, look at me. I’m not the same guy you remembered, am I.”
I shook my head ‘no.’
“Do you act the same way, have the same attitudes as ten years ago?”
I laughed at that. “Oh, hey-ell no!”
“See! You’re not the same as you were, so why are you so damned afraid to take a chance. Hell, you even sang about it the other night. I’m assuming that you were talking about me.”
I looked at him, “Scott, I was totally singing about you last week. I am taking a chance,” I insisted. “You asked why I never had tried before now. And I’ll tell you what, I’m even nervous now. What if in six weeks we sort of cool off and just hang out, or even worse, not even do anything at all. I know that I’m taking a chance but I can still be nervous. I’ll tell you what, my friend,” I continued, “I’ve never done what I did to you on that deck, either. I was scared shitless because I wanted to do it right. I wanted to give that to you. To you, not anyone else! Hey, I don’t mind facing my fears and nervousness. When it comes to relationships I just have never been available. But it’s something I’m willing to change, or work on. For you.”
“Wow,” he said somberly.
“Yeah, wow,” I repeated. I leaned up in the tub, putting my elbows on my knees. Scott started rubbing my back a little bit. “Man, that feels good.”
After a little silence, Scott asked, “Well what about you?”
“Well, you should be willing to change for yourself, not just for me.”
“Not sure I really know what you mean,” I said.
“Well look at the effect you have on people and try to take some pleasure from that.”
“Huh? I’m still lost, buddy.”
“You said that you had sporadic friendships all through your life.”
“And still do.”
“Ok, you still do. Have you ever thought about what things you’ve brought to those people?”
I was still confused. “Like what?”
“Laughter, happiness, whatever. You brought something positive and good to each and every friendship you’ve had, no matter how long or how short the relationship. That’s more of the positive way to look at it. Let’s say you know ten people,” he explained “and each person has ten really good friends. Those ten friends are a constant but perhaps you’re not. Do you honestly think that you could be with them and not have somewhat of an impact? Whether it’s a large one or a small one doesn’t really matter. You have opportunities in all sorts of relationships to make some sort of an impact.” He paused to look at me. “I’m not trying to sound like an asshole but you’re right, in your past I’d have to agree that you were a bit selfish with friendships, from what you say. Maybe now you can start over and just…extend yourself, knowing that, hey, maybe a friendship with Freddie will only last a few months, but one with Charlie might last a lifetime. And if the friendship’s short then glean what you can out of the experience.”
I looked at him for a second. “Whoo-ee! Where did all that come from?”
He chuckled a bit. “I just hate to see someone mired down in shit of their own making. That’s all. I spent a long time being a pain in the ass to others because of the junk in my head. I think what I’m trying to say is that if you start opening up yourself to others, then in doing so you also have something to gain.”
I kinda knew what he was talking about, and then again I kinda didn’t. Maybe the words weren’t coming out right because we were so tired and it was late. Who knows.
“Scott, listen. I admit that I used to be selfish and that’s a hard habit to break. But you asked me why I haven’t had a relationship yet. I want to quit being that selfish, because I know from experience that I end up lonely. I think that I can try and temper the ‘back off’ personality and risk being known and liked. Hell, even risk being loved and loving back. Like I said, I’m willing to break that habit; and it is a habit. I’m kinda new to this whole aspect of relationships so it might take a while; and if you have it, patience.”
“I have patience,” he smiled.
I grinned back. “Like I said on the couch the other day, there’s something about you that makes me want to try. Our personalities just click.”
“So what are you saying, then.”
I took a deep breath. “Well, I guess what I’m saying is I’d like to take a stab at having a relationship with you.”
“Well, numskull, I just sucked your cock, that should give you a definite hint.”
He laughed out loud at that. “And you’ve never gotten sexual with anyone before.”
“Well,” I said, “I’ve had my knob polished a few times,” at which he laughed, “but I’ve never headed south.”
“So I should feel special then,” he smirked.
“You’re damn skippy, you should!” I said, smiling.
“Well you did the job for me.” He stretched his arms up and yawned. "Want more practice?”
“Oye! Maybe later. So what do you think?” I asked.
“Oh, I definitely want you to practice more, pal,” Scott said.
“No, you dick, about a relationship. Do you want to see where this’ll go?”
“C’mere,” he said, then with his hand on the back of my neck he pulled my face to his and gave me just a really nice kiss. Not sloppy, no tongue, just a nice kiss. He sat back and looked into my eyes. “Yes, Mike, I want to see where this’ll go.”
“Good. Me too.” I looked down at his mouth and back up to his eyes. “I really am crazy about you Scott.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “Me too, Logan.”
I gave him a quick kiss and got up from the tub. “Dude,” I said, stretching, “I’ve got to go to bed. I’m just wrecked,” I yawned.
He had a sexy smirk on his face and a glint in his eye. “That mouth’s about the right size.”
“No shit, we already know that.” I turned to walk away.
“Awwww Logan,” he sort of groaned/whined, “you got such a great ass. When you gonna let me onto that back porch!”
“Shit man! Have a little patience,” I said.
“I’ve had patience for these last two weeks!” he griped.
I turned to look at him. “Really. Since we met you’ve had patience?”
“Fuck man, you have no idea.”
“Hmmm,” I said.
“ ‘Hmm’ what?”
“If you’d have come out sooner you wouldn’t have had to wait.” I winked at him as he groaned and fell into the water. I couldn’t help laughing at him as he feigned agony. “Goofball,” I said and headed downstairs.
* * * *
The next few weeks went by pretty quickly and a strange thing, well at least I thought it strange at first, started happening to us all. We all became weightless and started floating up and up…. Just kidding. All eight of us became really close. Don’t get me wrong, we all had our differences and bickered. Even Scott and I would bicker every once in a while. But there’s something about being around people day in and day out and you really do become closely attached to them. Everyone in the apartment knew about how Scott and I felt towards each other.
In later years we’d watch Big Brother or Survivor or whatever other reality shows, and my friends would never understand how a person could become so close with people in the house, saying all of the “I love you” mush. But it’s really hard to be around someone 24/7 and not learn about their lives, their loves, their fears, their hates, etc. It’s almost like taking a regular relationship that needs a year or two to grow and condensing it down into five weeks or eight weeks or whatever.
It was the week of the actual reunion and we all decided to go full-out and dress completely formal for the occasion. I figured that there were other people would do the same but since we were showing up as a group we wanted to look really snazzy. All the guys went to the tuxedo place to get fitted and the gals had actually taken care of their outfits the week or so previous. You know how chicks are. Always kvetching about their attire. The dude at the tux shop asked us guys if we wanted real bow ties or the fake, bullshit ones. We all decided on the real bowties since Freddie said he knew how to tie one.
The reunion itself was to be held at the Ritz-Carlton on Peachtree Street, which is right across from the Peachtree Plaza Hotel. The Plaza was once billed as the tallest hotel in the world, but I don’t know if it still carries that distinction. The top three floors of the building are taken up by The Sundial Restaurant and Lounge. The restaurant itself rotates very slowly, making one revolution per hour. The lounge has several balconies which overlook the revolving restaurant and on a clear day you can see all the way to the North Georgia Mountains and east to Stone Mountain.
The night of the reunion we were all excited to see other people from our school. It’s funny how for a year or two after hight school you might have some contact with fellow classmates and then you just start having and living your own life, and peoples’ directions change. Charlie and I got dressed while Freddie and Scott took a shower. I had long since decided that I couldn’t help myself if Scott was in the next stall while I showered. I would have to jump his bones. Simple as that.
We all chose black tuxedoes and Charlie looked really great in his. He had black hair and looked, well, hot! Hey, I was nuts about Scott but there’s no way I don’t notice a good looking guy when I see one. We tied our ties and headed out to the main living area. Jessica was finished dressing and looked dynamite. We all stood around talking and babbling about what the rest of the evening might hold. One by one the other girls came out and every one of them looked fantastic. Freddie came out looking like Dapper Dan and I laughed and said as much. He just smiled.
“Where’s homeboy?” I asked, referring to Scott.
“He’s finishing up his tie. He’ll be out in a minute.”
This oughtta be good, I though. Scott looked hot, even on a bad day. No tellin’ what he’d look like in a tux. “Get’cha ass out here!” I hollered. “Freddie was just drooling over you!” Freddie just laughed at that.
We were all standing in the kitchen and I had my back to the bedroom. All of a sudden Deanna’s eyes widened. “Wow, look at you!” she said.
I turned around and I swear, no shit, my jaw dropped. Smiling a great big smile Scott stood there while all the gals babbled on about who-knows-what. He held up his arms and turned around. The tux was black, of course, but the vest was white silk with white silk threads embroidered in a random pattern across the front. It might sound feminine but if you saw him in it you’d turn gay too. His hair was done a little different, sort of spiked up on top. The contrast between the white vest and black jacket really drew your eyes to his face and goatee. Something about the embroidery also made his chest look even broader.
He turned back towards us, smiled and said “What do you think? I’m not used to being a penguin,” he looked down at himself then back at us.
Charlie laughed and said, “I think Mike just messed his pants.” Everyone died at that. My mouth was still hanging open and I felt fingers beneath my jaw pushing it up.
“Hey pal,” Freddie said chuckling, “you’re gonna slobber all over yourself.”
Scott took a few steps towards us. Looking at me he said, “Logan, you haven’t said anything yet.”
I took a few steps toward him and lept up into his arms, throwing my legs around his waist. He fell back onto the couch, laughing. “Ride a cowboy, save a horse!” I yelled as I gyrated my ass on his crotch. Everyone died laughing at that, too. “I gotta see one thing, though,” and I reached my hand under his vest.
“Hey!” he said.
“Oh, quiet,” I told him. I felt between the studs. Ok, got what I wanted.
“What was that?” he asked.
“I just wanted to make sure you wore a t-shirt. If you wear a tux you have to wear a t-shirt beneath the shirt.”
“It’s a v-neck,” he smiled. I went to muss up his hair but he grabbed my forearms. He was definitely chubbing up beneath me. “Get off me, please?” he said in a fake-wimpy voice.
As I stood up Deanna asked “What’s with the t-shirt?”
“Baby, don’t nobody need to see your chest and your nipples! These damn shirts are pretty sheer and they show everything. It’s just classier to see all white when you look at a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt.”
“But we have vests on,” Charlie said.
“Black-haired stud, it doesn’t matter. Class is class,” I told him.
“Stud, huh?” Charlie smirked.
Scott wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Don’t even think about it Charlie.”
Charlie laughed and said, “Just kidding, just kidding.”
“Let’s get out of here and eat,” Freddie said. We all headed out, cameramen in tow.
The eight of us opted to go to the Plaza for drinks and dinner. It had been years since I’d been there and I was really excited about it. From the dining room you can see the building across the street that looks like ancient temples. Up here the structures looked enormous and they were all lit up beautifully. We toasted a great five weeks together and ate a wonderful meal before heading back downstairs to go over to the Ritz.
The reunion itself was pretty fun, but I’ll admit it wasn’t as exciting as I’d hoped. In a way it was a bittersweet ending to everything that had been going on in the studio. For most of the night the eight of us pretty much stayed together. It was easy to see how cliques were formed, and not only in high school. At different times various classmates would come up to us and ask us what it was like to live together, be on a reality t.v. show, etc. I ended up meeting a few people that I never really knew existed in school and it was nice. I also became re-acquainted with some other classmates and it was really fun catching up.
Alas, the festivities that night came to an end. We all said goodbye to lots of new and old friends and got into the limo for the ride back to the studio. None of us were really in the mood to drink that night. I guess because we didn’t know what the next day would hold for us. Plus, we’d been drinking enough over the past five weeks to kill a lush. Everyone dragged into the apartment and bid their ‘good nights’ except for Scott and I.
The two of us had grown accustomed to staying up a little later than everybody else. Usually we’d talk and more than a few times we’d play in our sex tent out on the deck.
Scott was laying in the middle section of the couch with his head toward a corner, and I sat in that corner of the couch. It gave me a great bird’s eye view of his body. I reached over and untied his bowtie.
“Hoss,” I said, “you really look awesome tonight.”
He smiled and blushed a little. “Thanks, man. You do too.” I started running my fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes. “I’d like to bottle and sell your hands, man.”
“Well, just wait ‘till I’m dead first, ok?”
He laughed at that. “Idiot.” We stayed there for a few minutes not saying a word. I loved giving him the simple pleasure of scratching his head. It allowed me to have my hands on him and he never seemed to complain. I rubbed his temples lightly and he just kind of moaned really low.
“Let me ask you something,” he said.
“If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?”
“That’s easy. I’d love to take an Alaskan cruise.”
“Oh hell, yeah. I don’t know why but I’ve always wanted to do that. I just think it’d be the coolest thing.”
“Well,” he sighed, “you’ll have to send me a postcard, then.”
“Why,” I snorted.
“You’re kidding.” Well shit!
“You were on our senior cruise, too,” he said.
“Actually I didn’t remember you going.”
“Yeah man, we rode the same bus down there. There was piss and puke all over the back from the people being drunk.”
“Oh my God!” I said. “I completely forgot about you there. That’s right! I remember a few hours after the bus left Stone Mountain I had to take a leak and headed back to where all the partiers were.”
“That’s where I was,” Scott said.
“I remember,” I laughed. “You were laying up on the luggage rack as I waited in line to use the bathroom. I saw you there and got nervous.”
“Flashbacks to when we were kids. Anyway, you put your hand on my head and rustled my hair and said, ‘I know you!’ I think I laughed and said something like ‘I know you too.’”
“You know, I vaguely remember that.”
“Dude,” I said, stopping on his head, “you were plastered.”
“Oh, talk about me being plastered!”
“Man we all showed up to some bar in Nassau and you were there leading a fuckin’ congo line up and across the bar.”
I died laughing at that. He was right. I was with a group of people and when we got to this one bar we all got a free drink at the door. Well the drink tasted like horse piss but I wanted to get loaded so everyone gave me their drinks. Hmmmm. That night was a distant memory.
“I probably could’ve gotten you then,” he continued. I laughed again at that. Then I faced him a bit more and reached down to take out the studs, opening his shirt up a bit. “What are you doing?” he asked, somewhat huskily.
“This.” I started rubbing the top of his chest. Thank God for v-necks. I loved feeling the hair on his pecks. I slowly rubbed them both and paid extra attention to his nipples. Both were hard and I had learned in the past few weeks that he loved when I focused on them.
“Oh, Logan,” he moaned as he reached up and pulled my face down to meet his. We kissed upside down and I slid my arms a bit further down his hairy chest and belly. I took one hand out of his shirt and started massaging his bulging cock with it. He was completely hard in seconds, as was I. Then I sat up, pulling my hands off of him and breaking our kiss. “I can’t do this anymore,” I said, exasperated.
“Do what anymore?” Scott looked concerned.
“This, this…camera shit. I can’t fuckin’ wait anymore.” I stood up from the couch and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go,” I said.
Scott was stunned. “Let’s go where?”
“Scotty, I don’t care what happens to us for doing this—“
“Doing what?” he interrupted.
I held him closely with his face in my hands. “I. Can’t. Wait. Anymore.”
Suddenly it dawned on him. His eyes lit up and he smiled his perfect fucking smile.
“Oh yeah?” he said seductively. “What’cha got in mind.”
“Not what,” I corrected, “where.” He had a questioning look on his face. "Ever stay at the Peachtree Plaza?” I asked.
“Ohhhh, shit,” he smiled. “Hold on. Be right back.” He left to go to the bedroom and was back in seconds. Scott still had a big smile on his face. “You’re crazy, you know?”
“Fuck it,” I said, opening up the door to the studio and gesturing for him to go through.
As he walked by me his fingertips traced my chin. “I fully intend to, Mr. Logan.”
I smiled and did a Magnum P.I. eyebrow twitch thing. If you’re from the 80’s you know what I’m talking about. “I was hoping you would, Mr. Dell.” I shut the door and we headed for the elevators.