by RimPigFL - firstname.lastname@example.org - February 21 2005
When Cole finally stopped laughing, I waited for an explanation. I didn't say anything, just looked at Cole. He finally looked back.
"BJ, I don't give a fuck about being a lawyer! I never wanted to be a lawyer! That was what my father forced me to be. No, the only thing I wanted in my life and can never have is - YOU!" he said, and I saw the pain and longing in his eyes, knowing that what he was saying was the truth.
"Cole, you threw me away. I would never have left you - never! I would have stood by you no matter what. You were the one who left me." I said, the anger rising inside me.
"Don't you think I know that?" he asked pathetically. "Don't you think I've torn myself apart every day of my life because I did that?! I didn't want to do it, but you father was right. I'm a coward. I couldn't stand up to my father. I couldn't face being thrown out on the street. I couldn't face being a failure. And now I'm nothing but a failure."
Cole bowed his head. I wanted so much to scream at him. To tell him that I still loved him, that he was still worth everything to me but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My hurt was still too raw. But I'd lost Justin. Could I lose Cole, too?
"So what now, Cole." I asked.
He took a long time to look up at me and answer.
"Now? Now nothing. I wanted to see you one last time. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about every thing I did to you. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and always will. I also wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Justin's death. You deserved him. You deserved the happiness he gave you. And he deserved you where I didn't. That's all. I just wanted to tell you those things. Now, I'll go away and never bother you again. I guess I just really wanted to see you one last time." Cole said as he started to get out of the booth and I could hear the desolation in his voice.
"Cole, you're not thinking of killing yourself, are you?" I asked, reaching out to grab his arm, scared that was exactly what he was planning.
"Suicide? Me? No, BJ. Like you're Dad said, I'm a coward. I don't have the guts. Don't think I haven't thought about it. But I figure I keep pouring enough booze down my throat and I finally won't have to. I'll be dead anyway." he said sitting back down.
"I tried that when Justin died. I didn't want to go on living. So I figured enough booze would take care of it." I said quietly.
"So what stopped you?" he asked.
"Some people who loved me." I said simply.
"Well, there aren't any of those for me. My fucking father has finally disowned me. My mother won't talk to me because she's afraid of him. My bitch of a wife has taken anything I had and I have no friends. So I guess I'll just continue my drinking." he said, picking up his beer and draining it.
"You're wrong, Cole." I said slowly.
"About what?" he asked.
"You do have someone who loves you." I said.
"Who?" he said.
"Me. Cole, I never stopped loving you. Oh, I admit I hated you for a long time. I still am angry at you for what you did to me. But I can't stop loving you. I've only loved two men in my whole life - Justin and you. I've lost one forever, I'm not going to lose you, too." I said.
"No, BJ! Don't. Go away. Forget me. I'm not worth caring about. I'll only end up hurting you again." he said, miserably.
"No, Cole. I'm not running away from you. I'm a lot stronger than I was when we knew each other before. And you're not as bad as you think you are. You are worth caring about." I said, realizing for the first time that I really did feel this way.
"BJ, I'm a louse! Ask anybody! Ask your own father!" he said.
"Cole, if you didn't want me back, you would never have called me." I said quietly.
This stunned him. He sat there staring at me.
"You see, I know you better than you ever thought I did, Cole." I said.
"No, BJ. This can't happen. You can't want me back. I've fucked up everything I ever touched in my life - especially things with you. I'd just do it again." he said, and I could see tears in his eyes.
"No you wouldn't. Because you've lost everything. Everything you were afraid of losing is gone. And you're still here and I'm still here. You owe me. You at least owe me the effort to make another try at being together." I said.
"BJ, why do you want me? You could have anybody. Why me?" Cole said and I could see the tears now running down his face.
"Because I love you. I always have. I don't want a hero. I don't want a perfect man. I want you. You may think I'm crazy but that's the truth." I said.
"You must be. And I bet your Dad says the same thing." he said.
"No he won't. He'll say that he wants whatever makes me happy. And I know without a doubt that, if you want to, you can make me happier than anybody." I said.
"BJ, are you sure? Really sure?" he asked.
"Come home with me right now and I'll show you." I told him.
"I think you're nuts, but if you really want me, I'm yours." he capitulated.
"Let's get out of here then. And Cole..." I stopped.
"Yes?" he asked.
"No more booze." I said.
"No problem. I never needed it when you were around. I always got high on you." he smiled shyly.
"Come on, then." I said, leading the way.
When we got to the Jag, Cole looked at me and grinned.
"Nice car! You must be doing well!" he said.
"It was Justin's." I said simply.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Cole said.
"Cole, it's just a car. I kept it because it was Justin's but it doesn't mean anything to me. Okay?" I said.
"Yeah. I understand." he said.
We hardly spoke in the short drive back to my apartment. I parked the car and lead Cole to the private elevator. He looked down and saw only buttons marked "Penthouse", "Lobby" and "Garage". He didn't say anything, but I could see that he was impressed. I pressed the button for "Penthouse" and the elevator moved swiftly and silently upward, finally opening into the entryway of the apartment. I unlocked the door and ushered Cole into the apartment.
He just stood there for a while looking around. With the decorators, I had redone the apartment. It was now my colors and my taste. Lots of dark wood and deep russets and blues. The furniture was more casual, less formal than when Justin and I lived here. I did not have to entertain any of the people that Justin did. Now it was only my Mom and Dad and occasionally Cathy, Justin's sister, who came to see me. My career, with the many times I had to jet away to some hot-spot in the world didn't make entertaining or making new friends easy. That was starting to get very frustrating to me. When I had Justin to come home to, it was easy to jet off to the middle east or some other trouble spot. But now that I was alone, I was beginning to tire of coming home to an empty apartment - no matter how luxurious - and having no one to talk to. I had almost given notice to my bosses several times in the last month or so but held off.
"This is quite a place, BJ." Cole said quietly.
"You haven't seen all of it yet." I smiled.
"No, but I've seen enough." he said, smiling sadly. "I'd better go."
And he turned back to the door.
"Cole, wait! What are you doing?" I said taking him by the arm.
He turned and looked at me.
"BJ, man. This is way too much. I knew Justin was rich, but I had no idea he was this rich. That makes you way too rich for me. I can't offer you anything. You've got it all. You don't need a broken down ex-jock, ex-lawyer fuck-up around. I'll see ya." he said and tried to pull away.
I held on tight and made him turn and look at me.
"Cole, please don't go. Please come in and at least talk to me. Please." I begged.
I watched his eyes. I could see him thinking about it and then he finally relented.
"Ok, Talking can't hurt." he said.
"Good, why don't you come into the kitchen with me while I make a pot of coffee?" I said.
Cole nodded and followed me. When we got to the kitchen he sat on one of the bar stools that were around the dining bar while I made the coffee.
"Nice kitchen." Cole said.
"Yeah, it is. Justin designed it. I haven't changed it. He was a much better cook than I am." I said.
"Well, you gotta be better than me. I can't cook at all." Cole said.
"Nothing new there! You never could." I grinned.
"No, I was pretty well useless in all kinds of ways." he said and again his head dropped and he wouldn't look at me.
I couldn't take anymore of this from him. I walked over and put my arms around him and his head on my shoulder.
"Cole, who did this to you? Who the fuck made you think you were worthless?" I said as tears started to come to my eyes, the first tears I'd shed over anyone but Justin in a long time.
"Nobody had to tell me I was worthless. I figured it out for myself." he mumbled into my chest. "All I am is a big-dick jock who everyone wants to use as a boy-toy and then toss away when they're bored. I thought I was really hot stuff. Well, I'm not. I'm just some piece of trash that everybody threw away."
"Cole, you tried to take the easy way in life and ended up getting used by people that you thought you could use. Sounds like in some ways you got what you deserved." I said letting go of him and walking over to the kitchen counter and pouring us both a cup of coffee.
I wasn't going to be gentle on him. I knew Cole. That approach wouldn't work. I was going to have to get him mad enough to want to survive in order to 'spite' people. That was the first step.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." he said, his voice low.
"No, I think they were right. At least, you've made them right." I said.
"What the fuck do you mean?" he said, sitting up finally and looking me in the eye.
Good! He was starting to get pissed.
"Well, they figured you were a worthless piece of shit they could play with and then throw away and you'd never cause them any trouble or bother them when they went on to other toys. And they were right. You didn't." I said watching his face get redder and redder as I talked.
"The fuck! I brought the bastards down with my testimony! They're all doing time while I'm free!" he insisted.
"Yeah. Free. Free to pour you life down a bottle in some cheap, dingy bar! You call that free?!" I said.
"No." he answered quietly.
"And you didn't bring them all down, did you?" I said slowly.
"No. It was just junior partners like me. They threw us to the wolves. The big boys were protected." he said.
"So why don't you do something about that?" I said.
"I would if I could." he said and I could hear the anger in his voice. Good!
"Well...maybe we can." I said.
"How?" he asked.
"Do you know for sure they were all in on it? Especially your wife's grandfather?" I asked.
"Up to their fuckin' necks. The feds just couldn't prove it." he said.
"The feds are often quite inept. Perhaps we can find what they couldn't." I said.
"How?" he asked.
"Well, it would take some doing, but...I am a reporter. I'm used to digging for stuff that people don't want everyone to know." I said.
"Do you think we could pull it off?" he asked, his eyes lighting up for the first time.
"If there was a 'we', I think 'we' could." I said quietly, looking him in the eyes.
I could see the light dawning on him. Then I could see the fear in his eyes again as he looked at me.
"Why would you do this for me?" he asked.
"Because I love you, you asshole! Why do you think?" I said, grinning the whole time.
"BJ, I don't know what to say." he said looking very lost and helpless.
"Yes you do. You've always known what to say. You just don't say it because you're afraid." I said walking around the breakfast bar and right up to him as he sat on the barstool watching me.
"Yeah, I do know...It's just so hard. I don't know why you want to hear it from me. I'm really not worth it. I'll just end up hurting you again, BJ." he said and there were tears in his eyes again.
"I'll take that chance, Cole. Now say it." I told him.
"I love you." he breathed quietly.
I moved closer and put my arms around his neck.
"Now show me that it's true." I whispered.
His arms came around me and out lips met and I kissed him deeply. He tasted of beer but I didn't care. I was back in Cole's arms and he was kissing me! After so long, after so much heartache, Cole was mine again. And this time, he was not getting away from me - no matter what!
The kiss deepened and his hands were now feeling all over my body. I could feel him grab my buns and begin to knead them with his hands. It had been so long since anyone had touched me there. I moaned into his mouth with desire. I wanted Cole! I wanted him to fuck me! I wanted to be naked and in his arms again!
I broke the kiss and pulled out of his arms. He looked up at me with questioning hurt on his face until I took his hand in mine and pulled him off the barstool and led him towards the bedroom. The bedroom was the first room that I had redone. The platform bed now had a canopy around it and a mirrored ceiling inside the canopy. The walls of the room were painted a deep, dark russet and the bed was covered in black leather fitted cover and black leather bolsters. The floor was covered with deep, pile carpeting in the same dark russet as the walls and the lighting was all recessed and dim. There were small spotlights inside the canopy which lit the bed so that it seemed to float in the middle of the room. As I drew Cole inside, I heard him take in a breath in awe.
"Fuck! BJ, you could play football in here!" he grinned.
"Or you could fuck football players in here." I smiled.
"I like your idea better." he said putting his arms around me from behind and mashing his hard cock against my butt.
I let go of his hand and walked over to the bed. I quickly shed my clothes until I was naked and sat on the bed looking at Cole. I had continued to work out religiously whenever I could so my body was still as good as it was when I played football. A little leaner but still toned. I watched Cole's reaction as I stripped and knew that he still was attracted to me from the look of hunger in his eyes. He, too, began to strip and I watched as his body was revealed. Not as toned as it once had been, but lean and rangy, more like a gymnast than a football player now. He was still a beautiful and desirable man, despite the damage he'd tried to do to himself. His cock was just as I remembered it, still long and thick. My butt was so ready for him to penetrate me. I wanted him, and I wanted him bad!
Cole walked over to the bed and stood in front of me. I reached out and took hold of his hard cock and gently squeezed it. He moaned at my touch and a small drop of pre-cum seeped out of the piss-slit of his cockhead which was peaking out of his hood. I leaned forward and licked it off as Cole moaned again. The taste of him was still sweet and salty, just as I remembered it. His hands reach out and grabbed my head, but to pull if away from his cock. I looked up into his eyes and saw such tenderness there, my gut wrenched at the sight.
"BJ, I gotta say this. You gotta understand something. I know you love my cock, but there's been a lot of guys that have loved my cock besides you. None of them, though, ever loved the guy behind the cock. You were the only one who ever loved me, the real me. I know that with all I've done to you I don't deserve your love but I promise you, I will never hurt you again. I will never cheat on you or leave you. I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make you happy the way I always should have. I know you don't believe me now, but I'm gonna prove it to you if it takes the rest of my life." Cole said, but he was wrong. I did believe him. I could look into his eyes and know that he was telling the truth.
"Cole, I love you. I've always loved you. You know that. Now start proving that you love me. Make love to me Cole, I need you so much!" I begged.
Cole reached down and looped his arm under my legs and his other arm around my back. He literally lifted me up in his arm and then climbed on the bed a lay me down full length on it. He crawled on top of me and I could feel our cocks pressed against each other and our cock-honey pouring out, making each of us wet. Coles lips came down on mine in a deep kiss and I groaned into his mouth. The feeling of him being on top of me, the scent of him which I remembered so well, the feel of his hard cock thrusting into my abs were pushing me rapidly towards cumming. I didn't want to cum this way, though. I still wanted Cole inside of me.
I raised my legs and wrapped them around his hips. Now his cock was pressed length-wise into the crack of my butt. Cole got the message of what I wanted and he pulled back and moved so that he had my legs in his hands and was pushing them back so that my ass was raised higher in the air. Finally he had me where he wanted and dipped his head down and began licking and tasting my ass trench. I moaned at the touch of his tongue. It had been so long since anyone had eaten my ass, I had almost forgotten how wonderful the feelings were.
Cole feasted at my butt, running his tongue up and down the trench and then finally locking his lips around my puckered opening. I could feel him sucking on the lips of my hole while his tongue slowly pushed deep inside me. I could feel his tongue going deeper and deeper and I forced my opening to relax to allow him all of the access that he wanted. He began to fuck me with his tongue, slowly stroking in and out of my very receptive hole as I moaned at the feelings that were starting to become so intense that I again feared that I would cum before he got inside me.
"Oh, God! Cole! Please! Fuck me! I need you inside me! Please!" I begged as he withdrew his tongue and I grabbed my own legs to give him more freedom to work.
He rose up and began milking his dripping cock onto my hole. His cock-honey flowed so heavily that it was almost like he was pissing. He soon had my hole sopping wet with his natural lube and then placed his cockhead against the opening to my body and began to put pressure on my hole. At first, my body resisted the intrusion. It had been a very long time since I'd been fucked, more than a year, and my body was not as used to being invaded in this way anymore. But there was still memory in the muscles because when I pushed down on them, my hole flowered open and I could feel Cole's cockhead pop through my sphincter and into my ass.
I won't deny it, there was pain! I almost felt like I was a virgin again! But Cole was patient. He stopped a waited until my muscles stopped spasming around his cock before he moved slowly into me. He had to stop twice more to allow me to adjust to him until I finally felt his pubic hairs crushed against my hole and knew that he was completely buried inside of me. He looked down at me and I could see the raging desire in his eyes, but I could see love there as well.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice husky with desire.
"Now that I have you back inside me where you belong, I am." I smiled up at him.
"God! BJ! You have no fuckin' idea how good this feels!" he said. "You ass always seemed like it was made for my cock! Ever since that first night after the State Championships, I knew that you and I were made for each other."
"Then fuck me, Cole! Fuck me hard! Bury that bone in my butt and make me yours again!" I begged.
"Fuck, yeah!" he yelled and proceeded to do exactly as I had begged.
I didn't know when I had redecorated that it was Cole that I would be watching fuck me in the mirrors over the bed, but I was so glad that I had installed them. Watching him pound into my butt was almost as exciting as feeling it. I loved the play of his muscles in his back as he pounded his cock in and out of my butt. I could see his hips thrusting as he drove himself deeper and deeper inside of me. I wanted this to last forever, but I knew we were both too far gone now to make this last. Before I knew it, the tingling in my balls told me that I was about to cum. Nothing more than the thrusting of Cole's cock in my butt was needed to get me off - just as it had always been. I could tell that Cole, too, was only seconds away from orgasm as his breathing became ragged and his thrusts became less rhythmic.
"Cole! I'm cumming!" I managed to scream out just as my cock began to spew cum between our bodies.
The clenching of my ass around his cock while I came was all that Cole evidently needed. He groaned loudly and then I could feel his cock throbbing in my butt as he unloaded what seemed to be gallons of cum in my ass. There was so much of it, I could feel it squirting out of my hole around his cock and running down the cleft of my butt. Cole collapsed on me and I held his sweaty body as he recovered.
"Never...never...never like that with anybody. Only you, babe. Only you." Cole whispered in my ear as he lay there on top of me.
His words sent thrills through me. I knew he meant them. I knew that now we had a chance to build a life together once I got Cole to really grab hold of his own life again. But that would wait until the morning. Now all I wanted was to sleep in his arms again. Safe in the arms of the man I had loved since we were little boys together.
I felt his softened cock slip from my ass and I kissed his neck.
"Let's take a shower and get some sleep. I have a feeling we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." I murmured to him.
"How's that?" he husked, his voice filled with exhaustion and satisfaction.
"We got some assholes to take down, don't we?" I asked.
"You really think we can?" he asked, almost afraid to believe it.
"Yep! I really do." I assured him.
He rolled over off me and looked at me.
"If you think so, then I'll believe it. I guess I'd better get home and get some sleep." he said, starting to get off the bed.
"Cole." I said and he stopped and looked at me. "Cole, you are home."
He stared at me as if he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. I moved across the bed to him and put my arms around his shoulders.
"You...you want me to stay? Here?" he asked, afraid of what I was trying to tell him.
"Yes, Cole. Here. Right here. I want to sleep in your arms again, just like we used to. I want to feel your body next to mine. I want to wake up in the morning and feel your breath on the back of my neck and maybe your hard cock poking into my butt just like that horny fucking jock that I grew up with. I want you, Cole. And you're fucking not getting away from me this time!" I growled low in my throat.
It took a while for this to process for him but finally a horny leer crossed his face.
"Then fuck showers. I want to wake up smelling your scent strong and forceful, the way I always loved it. I want to be able to smell the scent of us fucking. I want your scent all over me." he grinned.
"You got it!" I said and began pulling the leather cover off the bed. I opened the drawers beneath and brought out the pillows and blankets and then Cole and I crawled under them. I hit the panel beside the bed which controlled the lights and the bedroom was plunged into darkness. Cole moved close and spooned his body against mine from behind, holding me close in his arms.
"Is this what you want, BJ?" he murmured in my ear.
"This is exactly what I want, Cole." I said, his arms and his scent surrounding me. "Forever."
"You got it, babe." he said and then kissed the back of my neck.
I guess we were both more exhausted then even I thought because, even before my eyes closed, I could hear the soft rhythmic breathing I remembered of Cole asleep.
I woke the next morning, exactly the way I had said I wanted to the night before. I could feel Coles arms around me. I could smell his scent and the scent of our fucking last night. I could feel his breath softly on the back of my neck and I could feel his hard cock poking between the cheeks of my butt. I knew what I wanted next and gently slipped my hand down until I could spread my ass cheeks and pushed back until the head of Cole's cock touched the wet opening to my body. With all the cum he shot in my butt the night before, I knew I didn't need any lube to get him back inside me. Because it had been so long since anyone had fucked me, I was a little sore but I wasn't about to let that stop me. I pressed back against his cock and heard him groan in his sleep as his hips responded and he drove his cock deep into my ass. I stopped pushing against him at that point and just rested there, his arms still around me and my ass chute now surrounding his hard cock.
I lay my head back down and waited. I knew one of two things were going to happen. Either Cole was going to wake up now and fuck me or I would go back to sleep with Cole's cock securely up my ass and he would wake me by fucking the shit out of me when he finally woke up. Either way was fine with me at that point.
I didn't have to wait long. The next thing I knew, I could feel Cole's tongue licking the back of my neck and his hips thrusting his hard cock the rest of the way up my ass. I groaned in ecstasy at the combined feelings that he was giving me.
"I thought it was a dream." he said, his voice husky with sleep. "But I knew it couldn't be. I've had nothing but nightmares for the last year and this definitely was no nightmare." he husked.
"No, Cole. It's all real." I said pushing back against his hard cock, trying to drive it further into my body.
"Mmm!" he groaned. "God! I love your ass!"
"I got that message already." I giggled.
He moved forward, pushing me over onto my stomach and climbing on my back, his cock never leaving my ass. I felt him raise his body up on his hands and begin to drive his cock in and out of my butt. He was slow at first, still coming awake, but he quickly shook off the sleep and began pounding my butt good! I groaned under him and pushed my butt back each time he slammed forward, burying his bone in my hole. I loved being fucked this way! I loved having him pounding into me while I could shove my ass back as hard as he was pounding, making it a doubly hard fuck. Of course, neither of us had any control this early in the morning. This was not meant to be a long, slow love-making session. This was an all out, hard-driving butt fuck! And within a few minutes, Cole was dumping yet another load of his hot cum in my ass while I was spraying the sheets below me with mine. We collapsed onto the bed, Cole still on top of me, his cock still buried in my ass.
"Fuck! BJ! You're gonna kill me, man! That ass of yours is gonna eat me alive!" he moaned into my ear.
"Yeah, but what a way to go, huh?" I laughed.
I could feel his body shaking with laughter on top of me. Then he quieted down and began kissing my shoulders and neck, using his tongue and teeth to gently nibble and lick at my skin. I moaned at the sensual feelings he was creating and could feel my cock coming to life once more beneath me.
"Cole, you keep this up and we're gonna spend all day in bed and never get anything accomplished." I said.
"Ok, ok! I'll quit. For now. I can't tell you for how long, though. I just can't seem to get enough of you." he said pulling his cock out of my butt and rolling over beside me on his back.
I rose up and looked down into his face.
"Maybe that's because you've missed me for so long?" I asked.
He smiled gently up at me.
"Babe, you have no idea how much and how long I've missed you or how much I've hated myself for ever leaving you." he said and I could see tears beginning to leak from the sides of his eyes.
"Cole. Babe, don't think about it. It's over now. We're together again and nothing and nobody is gonna change that - not ever again!" I said, leaning down and licking the tears from the side of his face and then kissing him deeply.
His arms came up around me and he held onto me like he would lose me somehow if he didn't. I moved closer to him so that my whole body was in contact with his and he turned and buried his face in my chest and started sobbing. I held him while his body shook and gently stroked his hair while keeping my other arm tight around his body. After a while, he finally calmed down but I continued to hold him and he continued to hold tight to me.
"It's ok, Cole. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you." I said.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did. It's what I deserve." his voice was muffled as he spoke into my chest.
"No, Cole. It's not what either one of us deserves. We've caused each other enough pain for a lifetime. It's time we made each other happy again. Don't you think?" I asked.
He looked up at me, his face tear-stained and his eyes red from crying.
"I want that, BJ. I want that more than anything. I just want the chance to make you happy." he swore.
"What the fuck do you think you just did!" I smiled at him.
"I fucked you." he said.
"No, not that. Before that." I said.
"Before that? I was asleep before that." he said, definitely confused.
"Exactly. You were asleep. You were asleep with me and your arms around me. Just exactly what I told you I wanted last night. Waking up with you, your arms around me and your cock poking me in the butt. More importantly, not having to wake up alone again, wondering why life was even worth waking up to. You do that for me every morning, Cole, and I will be the happiest man in the world." I said.
"I can do that!" Cole said, sitting up and taking me in his arms. "I can definitely do that!"
He kissed me deeply and held me in his arms.
"I love you, BJ. I love you so very much. I promise, I'm gonna tell you that every day, man. You aren't ever gonna wonder again if I love you because you'll know." he promised.
We just sat there grinning at each other for the longest time, neither one of us wanting to break contact with each other. We probably would have sat there all day, but suddenly one of our stomach's growled and we both cracked up laughing.
"Come on. To the kitchen! We need to get this day started." I said, jumping off the bed and grabbing Cole's hand and dragging him to the kitchen with me.
We were both still naked as jay birds and when we got to the door of the bedroom, Cole stopped dead in his tracks.
"What's the matter?" I asked, looking back at him.
"Shouldn't we put something on?" he asked.
"What the fuck for?" I replied.
"Well, don't you have servants or something?" he asked.
"Fuck, no! All I've got is a lady who cleans once a week and she isn't due until next week. Most of the time, I'm not here to give her anything to clean anyway." I said.
Cole relented at this and we walked naked, hand in hand to the kitchen. I sat him at the breakfast bar and started a fresh pot of coffee. While that was brewing, I rummaged in the refrigerator for the makings for omelets. I pulled a frying pan out of the cabinet and set it on the gas burner to heat while I broke eggs and mixed them in a bowl.
"God. You really can cook!" Cole said.
I turned around and smiled at him.
"I told you I could. Justin taught me most of what I know. He didn't want me stranded in some foreign country and not be able to fend for myself." I said.
"What are we going to do about that?" Cole asked quietly.
"About what?" I asked, busy dumping the eggs into the skillet.
"About you being off in some foreign country all the time." he said.
"Well...I've been thinking about that for a long time. I've been tired of running all over the world for quite a while now. I just didn't have any reason to stay home. God knows, I don't need the money. I just kept working because it gave me something to do. Now, I'd much rather spend that time with you. If you don't have any objections, that is."
I said all this while turned away from Cole, watching the egg mixture cook in the frying pan and adding cheese and mushrooms I'd sliced up. When he didn't say anything at first, I wondered what was going on but then I felt his arms come around my waist and his lips kissing the back of my neck and I got chills up and down my spine at his touch.
"You'd do that for me?" he asked quietly in my ear.
"No. I'd do it for both of us." I answered.
I felt his arms squeeze me tighter and his tongue started licking all over my shoulders and neck.
"I love you, BJ." he whispered.
"I know, but if you keep that up this omelet is gonna burn and you won't like it very much." I smiled.
"Okay! I give in." he laughed and I felt him let go of me.
I slid the omelet onto two plates and sat one of them in front of him. I grabbed silverware and two cups of coffee and sat down beside him. I watched as he tasted the omelet and saw his eyes light up.
"You really CAN cook!" he exclaimed. "This is incredible!"
"Nah, you're just really hungry after all that exercise." I smiled.
"No, BJ. This is really good." he insisted.
"Thank you." I said quietly, knowing he really meant it.
At that point the phone rang next to me and I picked it up.
"Hello." I said.
"Hey, there, son! How's it going?" my Dad's voice came through the phone.
"Fine, Dad. Everything's just fine!" I said and saw Cole's head whip around and a stricken look on his face when he realized who I was talking to.
"Well, you sure sound happy. What gives?" Dad asked.
"Well, Dad, I don't know how to break this to you but I'm in love." I said.
Cole looked at me and made motions with his hands not to tell my Dad about us. I mouthed to him that it was okay but he just kept shaking his head 'no'.
"Well, that's great news, son! Who is it? Somebody new?" he asked.
"No, Dad. It's somebody you already know very well." I answered.
"Well, who would that be, son?" asked Dad, really puzzled now
"It's Cole, Dad." I said and waited for the explosion.
Instead, there was silence for a long time on the other end of the phone. At first I thought the line had gone dead.
"Dad? Are you there?" I asked.
"I'm here son." his voice came back somewhat strained. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Yes, Dad. I do. He's changed, Dad. He's been through hell and back, just like I have. Dad, I never stopped loving him. You had to have known that." I said quietly.
"Yes, I figured as much. Did Justin know?" he asked.
"Yes, he knew. We just never talked about it. There was no need. Justin knew I would never leave him. But things have changed now." I said.
"BJ, as long as he doesn't hurt you, as long as he makes you happy, then I've got nothing to say about it. You know him better than anybody. If you want him back in your life, that's your decision to make." he said.
"Dad, I've learned to forgive him. It would help if you'd learn to forgive him, too." I said.
"For you sake, BJ, I'll try. But it's not going to be easy." he sighed.
"I know, Dad." I said.
"I feel like I'm raining on your parade here. You were happy when I called." he said.
"That's because Cole is here with me, Dad." I said.
"Oh. Well, I better let you go then. I just called to see how you are." he said.
"I'm doing wonderfully! I really am. Okay?" I asked.
"Yes, son. It's okay with me. I'll let your Mom know the good news." he said.
"You do that, Dad. I'll talk to you soon." I said.
"Yes, son. Soon." and with that Dad hung up the phone.
I put the phone handset back on the base.
"He wasn't happy was he. He's still angry with me." Cole said.
"Cole, it's going to take some time but they'll come around. I promise they will. All they've ever wanted was for me to be happy. Once they see how happy you make me, they won't have any trouble with us being together. And besides, it's not their decision to make. It's yours and mine. Am I supposed to not love and want you because you're parents hate the idea of you being with another guy?" I asked.
"No. I don't give a fuck what they think!" Cole insisted.
"Well, I still love my parents but they don't tell me who to love either. Okay?" I said, putting my hand on his bare shoulder.
He leaned his head down and rubbed his cheek against my hand.
"Yeah. Okay. I just don't want them to hate me anymore." he said.
"I don't want them to, either. I stopped hating you a long time ago. Too much energy wasted. I just couldn't keep hating you for something that I knew deep down inside wasn't really your fault. I understood what kind of a man your Dad is. I knew how he could manipulate you, especially as totally devastated and scared as you were." I said.
"You knew that?" Cole asked.
"Of course I knew it! Every dream you'd ever had was shattered along with your knee. When they yanked your scholarship, I knew that practically destroyed you. I tried to reach out to you but you just froze up and pushed me away. I couldn't break through to you." I said.
"I was so ashamed for letting you down." he whispered.
"Letting me down? What the fuck are you talking about?" I was startled by this revelation.
"It was my dream for us to play football in college. But I lied to you the whole time. Football was just the way to make sure that we went to college together. I knew how much I loved you. I knew I couldn't live without you and I wanted to make sure that I didn't have to. I knew you couldn't afford Yale so I didn't want to go there! But when my scholarship was yanked, all I could see was me losing you and I went into a complete tailspin! I pushed you away because I failed. I failed you! I failed us! It was my job to keep us together and I blew it!" he face was totally distraught now with tears running down.
"Cole! Whoa! That wasn't your job! That was both of our jobs! Being together was something we both wanted! I could have helped. You never let me." I said.
"I know that now. I know what a fucking egotistical fool I was! I thought I was the big jock! The big football quarterback! I could control everything! And my own body betrayed me and I lost everything I ever wanted. I lost you." he said, his head hanging down and his shoulders shaking from his sobs.
"Oh, fuck! Cole! It wasn't your fault. We were so fucking young. We didn't know what the fuck we were doing. We were both so afraid of losing each other or anybody finding out. Did you know my Mom and Dad knew about us the whole time?" I asked.
He looked up in shock.
"No! They knew?!" he asked.
"Yes. They knew. Dad said we weren't very careful about keeping our door closed." I smiled.
"They knew and they let us...let us..." he stammered.
"Yes, they let us continue to make love to each other because they could see how much in love we were, even if we couldn't see it then." I said.
"Fuck!" Cole said. "I can't believe that!"
"Well, it's true. I told you. All Mom and Dad ever wanted for me is to be happy. That's why they will eventually come to love you again because you make me happier than anyone." I said and, leaning over, kissed him gently on the cheek.
Cole turned and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me gently. Then he pulled back and gave me a shy smile.
"I don't ever remember breakfast being this great in my entire life." he said quietly.
"Cole, I'm not that good a cook." I smiled.
"I wasn't talking about the food." he smiled back.