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If Only

By Heath January 2005

I see you and it starts,

The urges, the wantings, the lustings,

I stare for a moment, thinking what could be… If only…

If only you were more at ease with what was inside,

Unafraid of what it may become, if set loose,

With me there, transfixed upon you,

Remembering how I could have helped that day,

To set what's inside free.

Then your gaze falls to me

Are you looking at me, thinking the same thoughts?

Or are you looking further at something over the horizon?

Oblivious to the feelings that are oozing out of me,

Never knowing your importance to another person.

Coming out of that moment in time,

I remember that most of this is my own mind playing tricks,

Teasing me with what could be- my innermost desires…

If only …

If only you loved me as much as I love you.