I spent the entire afternoon in tears and worry at what had happened between Tim and I. The real fear that I felt was that I would lose Tim, just when I thought things in my life were getting better even taking into account my father's attitude towards people with money. I understood what my father felt about people who had money that they had not earned, he had scraped and saved and worked damn hard for everything that he had achieved in his life. To him Tim and his family represented the chronic problem in our society the class distinction and the people who took and gave nothing in return. Dad's family had been brought up on the outskirts of society, they were the people who served others, people with money told his kind what to do and how to do it. He had struggled through night school and had been rewarded with gaining a leaving certificate. He couldn't go to university because his family had no money to support him. Instead he expected us to live our lives in what he had wanted to do but had not been able to do.
We had been brought up to believe that we too, had to work damn hard for everything and were reminded constantly of our background and the expectations that were heaped upon us. I was the only male in the family and therefore I had many more expectations to perform, especially the big one, marry and promote the family name to the upper class. I hated him at that moment because I knew that he would never accept me as being gay and I would either have to hide my true self from him or suffer the wrath of his temper.
These thoughts helped pass the time as I wondered what was going through Tim's mind and whether he would talk to me again and what exactly was going on in his head. My eyes were sore and red and I felt as though I had been kicked a few times in the head when I felt more than heard Tim come in the room.
He looked at me doing that thing that made my heart lurch in my chest, chewing on his lip with his beautiful big brown eyes wide, displaying the full range of emotions, fear, worry, love and happiness. As soon as I saw him a lump formed in the back of my throat and tears gently splashed down the side of my face. He stood there staring too afraid to come into the room with tears falling down his face too.
He slowly moved closer to me and started to say something but I reached up and engulfed him in my arms. We both shook and pulled each other closer, until we were almost squeezing the breath from our bodies. I passionately kissed him and he responded by sliding his hot warm tongue deeper into my mouth where we jostled and played while our hands grabbed and massaged each other's bodies. We stayed like this for a while and eventually came up and stared at each other's tear stained face.
"Why did you run away earlier, don't you love me?" I asked while stroking the side of his face. "Of course I love you, I don't know I'm scared by you sometimes I'm, um, um, I'm scared. I don't want to come out yet I'm not ready", he pleaded. "Can't we just take things like they are at the moment and then deal with things later", Tim was so tense and frightened I could feel his heart pulsating fast against my own chest.
"It's ok", I said. " We don't have to do anything just please never do that to me again, I though I had lost you again please please promise me", I begged.
Tim leant over and kissed me passionately on the lips and I responded with all my heart and soul. " Don't worry JJ I won't do that again so long as we don't have to come out yet" he said when he had finished kissing me. Then taking my head in both of his strong hands he looked me in the eyes and without wavering said, "I love you so much, I am frightened of losing you too, how do you think I feel, you are the most important thing that I have in my life.
He then pulled me closer and kissed me again and I could feel my self stiffen and become excited at the thought of what we could get up to again. At that moment there was a polite cough from the door to my room and we quickly backed away from each other to see Nick and Dan standing there with a comical look on their faces. I looked away from them and tried to wipe the tears off my face on my sleeve, ending up drawing more attention to the fact that I had been crying.
"Did we um interrupt something, we can um leave if you guys want to um um you know…..", Dan enquired while both of them stared right at the obvious mound in my CKs and in Tim's Khaki school pants. Following their gaze I smirked as I saw the mound in Tim's pants and I hurriedly covered it up and pulled the thin hospital sheet over my own body.
"No we were just finishing off talking about something that we hadn't finished before", I said, while silently cursing the interruption and what we could have been up to instead. "We were just talking about maybe moving in together once we have finished university", Tim added looking at me and squeezing my hand. I suddenly felt as light as a feather and was almost in danger of bursting into tears again, so I bit down on my tongue and held my breath until the urge to cry stopped. "Well he is the most important person in my life, he added. Tim's entire face was alight with love and warmth and his deep eyes were searching mine to make sure that he had said the right thing to me. We were communicating with looks and another small cough from the boys reminded us that they were there.
The boys were still standing in the middle of the room unsure as to whether they should come in or go so I finally told them to site down and relax. They sat down in a single armchair leaning on each other, trying to keep as much of their bodies touching as possible. Once they were calm they both started to talk at the same time in excited voices about the day and what had happened at school today.
Apparently everyone in our year had heard that I had collapsed on the weekend and was now in hospital. The rumor mongers had been hard at work with stories ranging from me dying of strange and exotic diseases to me putting it all because I had a maths test and didn't want to do it. I laughed at some of the more unusual rumors that were floating about and wondered why in a school the size of ours why people could care about what I was up to. It seems that Cass had made sure that the more exotic rumors about Tim and I had been either stepped on quickly or the people spreading them were mysteriously singled out for failing to do homework and given detentions to keep them away from the rest of the school.
We laughed for a while until I remember what my father had said and I told the others about being grounded until after the HSC was all over. There was no way that I could cope with not seeing Tim outside school for an entire three months and I knew that we had to find a way of getting around my father. I knew that my mother would be ok and that she would help me by not asking me where I was going if I went out or came home late from school.
We all sat there for a while talking about what to do and how Nick and Dan saw each other regularly but didn't raise too many suspicions with their families. They had always been relatively good students so their respective grades were ok and because they had been friends for a long time it didn't matter that they stayed over a lot at each other's houses on weekends and sometimes school nights. Dan suggested that I give Tim English tutoring, because he was in need of it! We thought about that but decided that it wouldn't work more than once a week and that was definitely not enough time to spend with him. I needed to see him and spend real time with every day.
"You two could do what we do and use on the of the music practice rooms before or after school. The doors lock and you can't see in from outside. So you can pretty much do what you want in there", Nick grinned looking at Dan who was blushing furiously. My eyes widened when I realized the implications of what they had just told us and I blushed and looked at Tim who was giggling nervously.
"You don't do you? That's so dangerous what if someone walks in and finds you", I asked in horror? "Your life would be over ". I could scarcely contain my excitement and curiosity at the thought of these two very cute guys going for it in one of the secluded music rooms at school! I mentally reminded myself that Tim and I would have to see about whether we could get a room sometimes or whether the fear of doing it at school was just all too much.
Both of them laughed and this time it was our turn to see prominent mounds in their trousers. "Get a room" Tim quipped and burst out laughing.
"We don't do it all that often, but sometimes when we are sitting in class it just becomes too much and we get carried away", Dan explained. "The first time was when I was practicing at school later than normal waiting for my mother to pick me up. Nick was still at school that afternoon and he came to find me, well one thing led to another and we ended up confirming that the rooms really are soundproof." He explained lifting a comical eye at Nick. I could tell there was a story to tell there but didn't enquire.
I was having trouble believing that these two quiet boys were capable of getting up to so much especially at school where 99% of the people were homophobic as all hell. Most of these guys would beat the living daylight out of you if they knew you were gay or at all interested in doing things with other guys. Part of the problem with Tim and I was that he hung around with the in crowd from the football and cricket team and they were the worst of all for anti gay rhetoric. I on the other hand didn't really fit into any one group and instead hung around with some guys from the swimming team and a really eclectic group of other people.
Tim licked his lips and gave me a very lopsided grin as he thought about what we could get up to at school. I on the other hand was terrified by the thought of being caught. There was no way in hell that I would even think about doing something like that. Call me a scaredy cat or whatever I don't mind, but the thought of the ramifications were too much.
But back to our problem at hand we didn't really have an answer about how Tim and I could see each other with the spectre of my father in the background making sure that my every moment was accounted for. "So what do we do, there is just no way that I can go that amount of time without seeing you" I implored looking at Tim. All I saw were his gorgeous big brown eyes staring intently back at me. Dan and Nick shrugged and didn't really have an answer either so we were relatively stumped.
While we were all sitting there staring at each for some sort of encouragement about what we could do a nurse came in with a huge bunch of flowers in a vase trailed by Cass and her girlfriend. I had never met Jo before and I was really surprised by her because I had such a different metal picture of who Cass would be attracted to. Cass looked like a cute young post pubescent boy with blonde hair sometimes cute short and sometimes not quite long and not quite short. She had beautiful milky white smooth skin and ey4es that were always furrowed in a smile.
I had always expected that Cass would go for someone like herself kind of boyish looking. Instead Jo was the picture of beauty and style, there was absolutely nothing boyish about her at all. From her stunning long blonde hair that seemed to shimmer as she moved to her perfect figure and voluptuous and full breast she was the epitome of what every straight boy and man would croon after. She came straight up to me and gave me a kiss on either check and drawled how wonderful it was to meet me and that she had heard so much about this little soirée of gorgeous young men.
We were all a little shocked by the whole entrance and we all fell silent until Cass asked what I thought of the flowers. I stared at the largest bunch of white lillees that I had ever seen in my life and blinked a few times and thanked them profusely even though I was obviously very confused why I was being given such an extravagant and lovely gift.
Cass picking up on my confusion explained that she and Tim had had a small conversation earlier in the afternoon after he had left me at lunchtime and she thought that we both needed something special. After the introductions were made and Jo and Cass had made themselves comfortable on the foot of my bed we started to talk about the predicament. While we were talking Tim and I continued to give each other's hands a little squeeze every few minutes to remind each other that we were really there and none of this was a dream.
It tuned out that Jo had a friend that was a social worker and if we ever needed any real help then we could come to her and she should be able to help. But the real issue at hand, how Tim and I could spend time together without my father finding out, we could not seem to find an easy answer. We were really stumped and it showed, my face was glum and my head felt hard and heavy. Tim turned to me and whispered in my ear that he would not let some silly thing like being grounded stop us from seeing each other. I giggled as he tickled my ear with his tongue laving a small wet earlobe and then blowing it dry. My poor cock, which had been totally ignored since the last time that we had made passionate love at the beach house, was hard and straining at the ministrations of his expert tongue. I was so horny that I was actually in danger of orgasm just from the feelings I was being subjected to.
"Stop it or I'm going to cum", I whispered to Tim who conspiratorially did it again and then stopped. Cass raised an eyebrow at me and I meekly smiled and said, "so I have decided that I am not going to do law after school, instead I am going to do art, well computer animation anyway". "I though about it and I am going to put my foot down against my father and do what I want to do for once" I murmured trying to convince myself that it was possible to go against my father's wishes.
"Gee only a few more weeks and then no more school ever" Tim whooped. Cass raised her eyebrow, " yes but just think you won't see me everyday anymore then". Tim's brow furrowed and he thought about this for a moment, "Why don't you allow friends to drop by and say hello after they have left school"?
Cass and Jo laughed and soon the entire room was in an uproar talking about the shenanigans that we would get up to. It was getting late and my dinner arrived, not particularly appetizing but I had to eat it, along with some more tablets. Cass and Jo said they had to go as did Nick and Dan, they all kissed Tim and I on the check, including the boys, which quite surprised me. Finally the room was empty which left Tim and I alone again. I was worn out from the day and after taking a few bites from the meal I felt incredibly sleepy and rested my head against Tim's warm chest. I listened to the soothing sound of his heartbeat as I drifted off to sleep comfortable in the knowledge that Tim loved me and together we could achieve the world!