Ikea Towel Racks
I was thinking this morning about what my real motives are for working out and putting myself through this hard work to achieve the "body beautiful".
Realisticly and I know this I am not going to re-capture my youth, or have a youth where I was confident. Nor am I going to have the perfect body and look of a Calvin Klein or Abercrombie & Fitch model (and I have met a real A&F model in the Flesh Hi Jon!)
So knowing that the best I can do is still not the gay ideal why do I do it? Well, it has nothing to do with what other people perceive of me or teh actual way I look. Bet that doesn't make sense to some people, as all I do is talk about "my fat" etc.
To explain let's go back a few years in my life...
When I was a teenager growing up I was a skinny beanpole, I was also very outwardly confident and totally insecure inside. It was nothing to do with the way I looked, it was my personality, my coming to terms with my sexuality and the world in which I inhabited. I was also a very naiive kid, and in some ways I probably still am a little naiive, although these days I think it is manifested in my almost total lack of irony :)
In my mid twenties as my first real relationship broke down and subsequently crumbled I discovered the gym. Through the gym I learnt two very important lessons about myself and about the gay scene & society at large.
The first lesson was that as my body improved I got more attention from boys and that helped to both soothe my insecurities and inflame them too!
The second lesson which is much more important was, I learnt that when I put my mind to something I could achieve it both physically and mentally. Now I don't just mean in terms of putting on muscle or looking good, I mean in terms of physical prowess and my ability and beliefs.
For all of my life I had been the bookish one, not really any good at sports or games - I still can't catch a ball to save my life, the whole hand eye coordination thing escapes me! But I had been trained to believe that I was physically inferior to the other boys and this inflamed my poor self worth.
So in my mid twenties it was almost an epiphany when I discovered that I was not inferior it was a great leap forward for me and has served me well.
So my motivation for working out and getting fit? Well it's all about me and my ability to achieve things both physically and mentally. Since giving up smoking which has been a huge turning point for me, I feel better, more alert, more alive. I want to expand on these feelings and make sure my heart and my lungs recover, and the best way is to do lots of escercise, to eat well and to take care of myself!
My motivation is to make sure that I can keep on enjoying life as much as I do now and into the future. And if I make the effort now in my life before I truly get unfit or fat or slow or whatever, keeping it up is so much easire to do than at 45 having a heart attack and having to start from scratch.
I wanted to make a shoutout to a great blogger Sangroncito and in particular a post of him showing off his fabulous body at 51! He is agreat writer and he has a great outlook on life, he intends to live life and take care of himself so he can enjoy his life! So howdy from Australia!
No not for me, for her!
I am on a new idea this week, cardio every day! Davie seems to think my weight is muscle gain because he is convinced I am getting bigger,
Sure that's fine so long as it's muscle growth and not fat cell growth lol.
I am really enjoying this new gym program and have really started to work out to my maximum I can. I am totally pyshched about the way that I am pushing myself right now which is excellent. Now I just need a gym buddy who will work out with me!
OK, there is something very wrong!
I am putting on weight! I don't get it, I am working out really hard, doing at least 3 hours of cardio a week and taking this carnitine and everything else.
I feel like my fat stomach is smaller, but the scales tell me I have put on almost a kilogram in weight!
I refuse to starve myself so something has to change, maybe it's my total metabolism just being difficult now that I am only a year away from mid thirties lol! Oh well I will keep on with the Carnitine for the nex couple of weeks and see if it has any effect on me!
I know that I eat in general much more than I used to when i was smoking but Im doing so much excercise that it shoudl be having some effect.
I'm getting worried that I will not meet my goal by the end of July!
I am here, alive and well.
I have been working out hard since my whole new obsession began, but I have still been seating a lot LOL. I have stopped in the last month the entire junk food, biscuits, or any type of sugary / fried food. But the more I try to actually eat less the more I think about it and the more I want to eat!
I feel sorry for women who seriously cannot eat more than a tiny meal , because at least I am going to the gym, doing heaps of cardio and weights!
I didnt weigh myself last week, I was going to but I pretty much was in a rush heheheeh, I am going to do the weighing tonight, and I am going to take some pics of the before (for me only) that I can track my shape over each week, cause it's the shape and size that I am interested in and not really the actual weight!
Viagra may boost athletic performance of cyclists
BY MIRIAH MEYER
CHICAGO - Researchers reported Thursday that cyclists may be able to increase their performance by taking Viagra - their athletic performance, that is.
Certain cyclists have more trouble than others in sustaining high levels of exertion at mountainous elevations. The new study found that Viagra, a drug most commonly used to treat male impotence, helped overcome that problem.
For these cyclists, taking Viagra improved their performance up to 45 percent, which would allow a cyclist racing in the high Rocky Mountains to cover a stretch of road in 39 minutes that would otherwise take him an hour.
The findings, to be published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, come at a time when competitive cycling has been struggling to prevent athletes from using banned drugs and other methods of bolstering performance. Viagra is not currently among the blacklisted drugs.
The study's senior researcher, California physiologist Anne Friedlander, emphasized that Viagra did not improve the performance of all cyclists. Instead, it helped "level the playing field" for those most affected by altitude, she said.
Hoping to learn more about why high altitudes affect people differently, Friedlander and other researchers with Stanford University and the Palo Alto Health Care System studied 10 male competitive cyclists.
The cyclists were tested on an exercise bike both under normal conditions and while breathing air low in oxygen. Some were given a sugar pill, and the others took Viagra.
"The participants told us that while they were riding the bike they didn't know whether they were on the drug or not," Friedlander said. "However, what they did say was that in the showers afterwards they pretty much knew which pill they had been given."
Friedlander got the idea for the study when Viagra hit the market last year under a different name, Revatio, as a medication for pulmonary hypertension.
Pulmonary hypertension occurs when the blood vessels in the lungs constrict, decreasing the amount of blood flowing through the oxygen-rich lung tissue. The result is lowered levels of oxygen in the blood, which causes patients to feel tired, dizzy and short of breath.
People who have similar symptoms in the mountains are often experiencing temporary pulmonary hypertension, said Friedlander. Viagra counteracts these effects because it is a blood vessel dilator. It relieves constrictions in the vessels and allows blood to flow more freely through some organs in the body.
The findings of the study could benefit people working at high altitude, such as military personnel operating in the mountains of Afghanistan or mountaineers climbing Himalayan peaks.
But in the world of competitive sports, boosting performance with a drug can be considered unfair.
"Physiological gifts are what separate (athletes) from one another and what separate them greatly from the general public," said Sean Petty, chief of staff for USA Cycling, the organization that oversees competitive bike racing in the U.S.
It is illegal for an athlete to take any drug to unnaturally increase performance, Petty said. As for Viagra, "if it's determined at some point to be a performance-enhancing drug, I'm sure it will be on the banned list," he added.
Friedlander, however, has a hunch that some athletes are already taking Viagra for competition.
"Cyclists are always looking for that competitive edge. They are scanning for anything, and it's conceivable that they might be taking it already," said Friedlander.
That concerns Dr. Rajive Tandon, a pulmonary hypertension specialist at Rush Medical Center. Tandon said very few studies, and none of them long-term, have looked at the use of Revatio, or Viagra, to treat pulmonary hypertension in the general population.
"These drugs can't be used indiscriminately. You have to study them in a certain population to see if there are side effects," said Tandon.
More studies are on the way, according to Friedlander. Next summer she plans to test subjects for longer periods of time and in real-world mountain conditions. She also wants to find out if women will similarly benefit from the drug.
From Snickers over at Californication
I succumbed and purchased some L-Carnatine tonight, as I am fundamentally an impatient person and I want to lose this last fat fast!
Oh well such is life!
My body does feel amazingly better and I can feel the changes in my size and my general health and well being, but to my overly critical way I can't 'see' the results yet!.
So I tried the L-carnation tonight along with some Creatine as I am starting a Creatine loading phase for a week or two. The purpose of all of this is to get fit and look great, so my hubby can chase me around the apartment. Or is that I am supposed to chase him around the apartment?
OK how bout we both chase each other around the apartment?
I still have quite a lot of pain in my lower back, I still did my cardio workout tonight a full 40 minutes because when I am on the cross trainer it doesn't hurt it's only later. But I will take some ibuprofen and it will help me sit down again!
I was home working today and our sexy cleaner was in, He is a real sexy lil fella and has a true heart of gold. However in his dark past when he was young and needed money he performed on a porn site, which I have seen *giggles*.
I'm not saying which site, cause that's wrong but he is a cute lil bastard.
The reason I bring it up is because he regrets it - a lot. He often gets people tell him that they have seen him on this site and it embarrasses him. Personally I don't think he should be so embarrassed, it's not as if most gay boys don't show even more on Gaydar! Sometimes I think when we are young we need to do some silly and impetuous things.
The excitable Simao Sabrosa of Portugal. He looks good clothed as well. Photo: Nacho Doce
I have obviosly overdone it or something because I am in agony today in my lower back! That will teach me to work out so hard LOL
Seriously though I will have to pay more attention to how I stand so I don't really screw something up permanently. NO gym tonight as I have late meetings.
So far I have been hitting the gym very hard over the last several weeks. It's hard to accurately meaure the gains or losses etc, but overall I feel much better and I am consistently now working out to exhaustion. Or very close to!
The Hunky boy above is Seth from Perfect Guyz, a nineteen year old who can suck his own dick LOL!
Anyway away from the pictures and back to my compulsive obsessive nature about my body (what you think I am joking?)
I dropped by the health food store on the weekend to get some fat metabolisers to help, but instead I had a really interesting discussion with the girl who works there.
She guessed two things about me without asking or being told,
1) I drink lots of alcahol,
2) the fat I wanted to get rid of was only around my mid section.
What she suggested is that I needed to clean up my liver *now there's a suprise LOL*, as the fat around my lower tummy is there because my liver is underactive.
So instead of the fat metaboliser I went in to get, I left with some foul tasting Liver Tonic to take three times a day. Personally I agree that my poor liver is probably struggling under the wine and beer consumption and it's not a bad thing to do to help clean my liver.
So my plan is to take this liver tonic for ten days (or as long as it lasts) and then start the Fat Metaboliser next week.
L-Carnitine - Fat Metaboliser
For the fat metaboliser I have ben told time and time again that the only one to take is L-Carnitine as it really does work. It works by transporting the fats into the body for use as energy during excercise etc. And it is good for your heart too!
At $50 a bottle though it's not cheap and that only lasts a couple of weeks. But in the eternal words of Norma Desmond "Eternal Youth requires a bit of suffering".
So this week I am "cleaning the system" and next week I will hopefully be stripping (the fat boys not the clothes)
I succumbed to checkingmy weight and using the machine that I know lies, but hey I wanted to know whether it is working.
The good news this week basically the same weight somewhere between 70 - 71 kilograms but 15% bodyfat n that machine. Even though according to Davey I am actually somewhere between 10 - 12% bf it feels good that the lying whore of a machine thinks my bodyfat is decreasing.
Onto the eye candy below SLURP!
Care of VividBlurry who stole it from BratBoy!
I am off to the gym soon to start my new workout - well actually I am going to start day five since this is day five and it kind of suits
The question is though should I weight myself or shouldn't I?
I feel as though my waist has got smaller (the belt is less and there is less to 'grab' in the grab test. So maybe I don't focus on the weight because it's not accurate nor is the body fat calculation.
I was chatting to a fellow Australian blogger today from Sydney - Single in the City and we came up with an outstanding idea. Why not have a Sydney Bloggers get together?
So Sydney Gay Blogicise is born.
So come one come all Sydney Gay Bloggers to a drink and meet and great on the first monday of the month upstairs at the Colombian Hotel from 6pm. Both SIIC and myself will email our blogging friends and invite people along. Let's see if we can't actually start something interesting here.
What: Sydney Gay Blogicise
When: Friday July 7 2006 from 6pm
Where: The Colombian Hotel Second floor
On other notes I was reading the very sexy Jared's blog Completely Naked and read some of the posts about his recent trip to Palm Springs and his excitement about his boyfriend Nathan coming back to town. A couple of the comments were particuarly acerbic and nasty, questioning how Jared could be in love with someone but still want to sleep with other people.
Something that my age has taught me, is that everyone is different and my values and beliefs are different to other people. I will not force my values and expectations on someone else and I don't believe that someone else has the right to judge another person.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes just as people do, some are closed, some open, some are ill defined, but whether a relationship is open or closed is not a barometer of the health of the relationship.
I don't know Jared personally but from his journal the love that he feels is very deep for Nathan just as Nathan loves him deeply. From my pointof view That's a good basis for the start of a relationship?
The very adorable Davey has helped me create a full on workout for the next 4 weeks (then we will revise and see where we are). Thanks Davey you are a star!
Before I go into the workout I thought I would celebrate a bit. Tomorrow is four months since I stopped smoking! I won’t say that the initial giving up was easy because it was pure hell, but for the last three months at least I have had no desire to smoke, nor have I had a cigarette since I gave up. For those of you who are interested I went to the Allan Carr’s Easyway to give up smoking clinic. I had read the book, but it just didn’t “click” with me. The clinic though worked a treat!
Now onto my workout!
The basic idea is that I work out five times a week. The duration of each workout should be between 1 – 1 ¼ hours at a higher intensity than I currently do. I see people in the gym hours and hours and hours and wonder if that really helps, but Davey has said no more because I don’t want to over-train myself.
Unlike my previous workouts where I’ve done virtually the same weight for 3 – 4 sets, I will be doing 3 sets that I stack the weight on to really do the whole burn and pump!
The first set is my warm up set with my “normal” weight that I can get a full ten reps out.
The second is my work set where I aim to get between 8 – 10 reps (obviously I increase the weight
The third is the break down set where I am to get between 4 – 6 reps on my maximum weight I can do.
Day One - Shoulders
Seated Shoulder Press
Side Arm Raises
Bent over Rows
Plus 40 minutes cardio on the cross trainer or Step Machine
Day Two - Back
Cable Lat Pull Down Wide Grip
Seated cable Row
Cable Lat Pull Down close grip with the triangle bar
Bent Over Row
Chin-ups Assisted (or non) wide grip chinup
Day Three - Legs
Assisted Squats on machine
Lie Down Leg Curls
Cardio 40 minutes on whatever machine I didn’t use on day one
Day Four - off
Day Five - Chest
alternate each week between doing exercises using dumbbells and barbells
Incline Chest Press
Flat Bench Press
Wide Lie down Flyes
10 - 8 - 6
Day Five - Arms
Preacher Grip wide grip
Close Grip Cable
Wide Grip Cable Push Downs
Rope Pull Down
I thought I would do a shoutout to a few of my favorite blogs and since it is Thursday I would be a part of the time honored blog Tradition of HNT or Half Nekkid Thursday. So here is my first ever HNT contribution!
And to the shout out – the two very sexy guys from “Boys are Ugly But Oh So Cute” - I love to read your blog because the world needs more of us hopeless romantics J Thanks Guys! Their HNT this week is rather um er interesting unlike mine which is a bit boring hehehehehhe.
I am sitting down with the sexy straight boy tonight to work out my new gym program. I would love the shape he has, but that's just being unrealistic lol, even thugh at my age he was more out of shape than I am!
So I will write a longer post later with details about my new program, in the meantime I bring you Dayton from Sean Cody!
I refuse to post right now - I feel violated by my Government. This afternoon they nullified perfectly legal legislation that would have allowed same sex civil unions. For no other reason than they are right wing homophobic bigots who are so full of shit.
I hope that Karma one gives them back 10,000 times what they have given.
I decided to have nother day off from the gym today - well that and it closed at 5pm because it's a public holiday in sydney! I feel like I should have gone and done some cardio workout, but on the other side I think that I need a day off after three days straight.
I have to say a huge thank you to all the people who have sent me suggestions with my workout and diet, thanks guys (this means you Benjamin). I had forgotten how nice the readers of supporter actually were and it's really heartening to know :) So Thanks!
I am still up to my eyeballs in work and have been working on and off most of the weekend, But the good news is that I feel I am getting very close to completing this major aspect of the project and can get onto the next stage.
The pictures above are from a site called muscle Adonis - a relative newcomer in the pay per view sites but one that certainly provides me with some inspiration and motivation :)
After the let down on Thursday night and the increase in body fat I dropped in on some friends, one of whom is studying to be a personal trainer.
The friend has been promising for months that we'll sit down to work out a new routine for me and he will come to the gym a couple of times with me. But on Friday night during our conversation (read depressive mood LOl) he decided to do my body fat using the professional calipers instead of the machine.
Guess what - (please try and look shocked) my body fat is actually somewhere between 10 - 12%. Like hello! WHAT THE F*** . I did a bit of net research and found that these machines will vary up to 5% incorrect so if it says 16% that could be anywhere from 11-21%. The measurement also varies accoring to when you last ate, how hydrated you are and when you last excercised (and probably where the moon is too)
In his words though the fat that I do carry is all around my waist at the moment hehehehheeh. Realisticaly it's not that bad, I have probably put on an extra inch around my waist this year and because I have a very lean body to begin with it makes a substantial difference when you look at me without my shirt on.
Most of the issue is how I perceive myself to look, but I also worry that if I don't do something about it now, one day I will wake up and have a huge belly! LOL
The cutting down of the wine at night has not gone quite to plan LOL, Friday night we had half a bottle of red and last nigt we had friends for dinner at which I managed to consume more tahn a glass and no I am not telling how much!
I have been good today, I went to the gym in the morning for a punishing cardio workout, 20 minutes on the cross trainer and 20 minutes on the machine that feels like you are skiing? I don't have a clue what the name of the machine is but it's fun and I have been told it's great to help sculpt you ass LOL.
Bradley & Jude Hot Slurp!
Today's photo is of Bradley and Jude from Randy Blue. They are hot and steamy!
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Ok, so here I was all excited, thinking that I would at least see either a reduction in my weight or bodyfat.
BUT NO F***ING WAY I HAVE PUT ON A KILOGRAM AND HALF A PERCENT IN BODY FAT.
Oh what the hell have I been doing to myself? I have worked out at about say 75% of capacity and have really watched what I eat, but here is the kicker and I am sure this is it. On Sunday night I had about 8 beers with a mate, and then on Tuesday night I had another 6 - 8 beers and then last night at dinner I probably had a bottle and half of wine. And this is in addition to the normal 2 -3 glasses of wine I have a night
So lets do some calculations based on how many caolories this may be!
Beer about 160 calories each x 16 = 2560
Wine about 600 calories a bottle, say 4 bottles a week = 2400
Total = 4960 extra calories
So lets say this week I have had in addition to normal another 4960 calories and these have been BAD Calories as wine and beer are very high in carbohydrates and sugars.
On a night where I do 40 - 45 minutes of cardio I only burn say 600 off calories, so that equates to 8 and a bit cardio sessions.
Something has to give, so for the next week the drinking gets shoved out the window, I am allowed one glass of something a night maximum, that's it.
Eye Candy Alert - The cute stud above is 26 year old Johnny at PerfectGuyz and he is so damn hot!
I didn't go to the gym yesterday, it was my day off, that and the fact that I am behind ona huge project deadline at the moment.
I am going to weigh and measure tomorrow to see how the last week of intensive training has treated me and whether I am going to meet my goals. I am hoping for at least some results, maybe a small drop n bodyfat or an overall static weight would be nice and a drop in the body fat.
I was reading Jared's blog over at Completely Naked (I love his blog it is fascinating as he is sexy!). He was talking about being melancholy or as Karen Carpenter says "used to be called the blues".
I believe that creative passionate people have ups and downs, and you can't have an amazing high (natural high that is) without having experienced a down time. That doesn't mean that the down times have to be long periods of chronic depression or even acute depression. But sitting on a quiet place and watching the world go by reflecting on things, missing people etc is good sometimes.
Every time my boy goes away on work I always miss him, especially that first night when the bed is all strange and cold over his side. I like missing him, I like looking forward to when he will come home. After nearly seven years it's important to have those feelings :)
Today's eye candy is James a very hot straight boy from the site English Lads! You can read the review on here of this very hot site!
The skies have opened up in Sydney and it has been raining for a couple of days. Unlike a lot of people, I love the rail. I find it soothing, the sound, the smell and the way it makes the world feel much smaller and more manageable.
The picture above is Mr Wyoming - well I don't actually know who he is, but hey he is frigging sexy. I love the veins that run down his stomach and the way his muscles are perfect (notice the lack of body fat).
I didn't want to go to the gym tonight, but I pushed myself and did my normal short warm-up cardio session, abs and chest tonight.
It's my favorite workout because it's the muscle group that on me I actually have. My pecs can look good (the bigger my chest the less you notice my fat stomach LOL).
I'm having dinner with a friend of a friend tonight, I don't know him all that well, as he is from Melbourne but he seems like a genuine guy which is way cool! The boy is still away and will be back tomorrow. He was a conference presenter at a technology conference interstate today and of course he would have been amazing. He is an amazing speaker and he truly knows his stuff so people hang off of every word he says!
I used to love doing conferences, but since my whole agraphobia, it's a panic inducing thought getting up and doing a presentation like that. I have enough problems as it is with having to do lots of meetings for work now. Actually last week was the first time in probably in a year that I didn't get totally panicked in a meeting.
Small steps small steps! So the motivation is there for my working out, and I am going to achieve my goal of getting in shape by the end of the month! This blog and you guys and gals are going to help me keep motivated!
Having drinks last night with a friend while the boy is away (again) on business, my friend Mr T, told me I have an oral fixation.
Well D'uh! I smoked since I was 18 years of age and now instead of sticking cancer causing sticks in my mouth I am always shovelling food in my mouth. Any of my friends could tell you I have an oral fixation, I'm gay don't we all have some sort of oral fixation heheheheh.
I have seriously cut down on the food intake. Talking of which I worked out that I need to have about 1500 - 2000 calories a day whilst doing all this full on excercise to get in shape.
Yesterday I did 45 minutes on the Cross Trainer for a total Calorie Workout of 617 Calories, or one bottle of white wine lol.
The very adorable boy below who is my daily inspiration is Jordan from Perfectguyz, a great site and some extraordinarliy cute boys.
So tonight at the gym I am going to do my much neglected legs, I haven't done a leg workout in probably over a year, yes that's right! I hate doing leg excercises, but I know that they are vitally important for all over fitness.
I feel better for not eating all the crap food and getting more excercise, but being an impatient person I want to see immediate results *sigh*
Part of the impetus for re starting my blogging life has been the changes in my personal life in the last couple of months.
Much to the suprise of everyone who knows me, I gave up smoking, yes on the 15th of June it will officially be four months since I last had a ciggerette. No sneaky puffs, no stolen moments with my old love.
The change was dramatic, no more chesty coughs and yucky stuff being hacked up in the morning, my skin lost its slight pallor and I feel better in general. Unfortunatley one down side of stopping smoking is that I took up eating as a new addiction.
My Name is Patsy Stone and I am a Chocaholic
When I say I took up eating I truly mean it to lol, my normally trim self has seen an extra inch around the waist and count them four extra kilograms of weight (see I truly am a fat bastard).
Coming back from the States I bought back with me about 5 or 6 kilograms of Hershy Bars with the intention of keeping the stash for months. Well its about three weeks later and there is not a single chocolate left. I have inhaled it all *sigh* it got to the point where I would just reach in the cookie jar every twenty minutes and scarf down a dozen kisses in several minutes.
So where does this leave me?
I weigh 71 Kgs (aprox - 156.528206 pounds)
My bodyfat is 16%bf - so about 11.36 Kgs (25.044513 pounds)
Being realistic my optimum bodyfat should be between 10 - 11%, so by that logic I need to lose somewhere between 3 - 4 kgs of body fat.
My objective is to reduce my bodyfat down to 11% by the end of July 2006, Through eating less and only eating healthy options, cutting down on the alcohol (not cutting it out). Dedication at the gym at least 5 - 6 times a week and determination.
This is my inspiration! I used to have a perfect six pack and body (no this is not me and I am not posting me until I am back to my pre binge size hah! This body is almost perfect and this is where I want to get back to!
My Body Challenge
Finally I am going to start blogging again after a three year hiatus!
Have a look through the posts from the year 2000 - 2003, yep I was one of the very original bloggers way back when it was a small tiny little startup company.
so to all of you lovely people out there in the dark I say, Welcome back!
There is so much that I want to say and talk about, I have the need ot be a human speaker lol!
So here tis the begginning of the middle.
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