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sometimes blue
DrewI am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it! Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
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Friday, October 30, 2009

Busy busy busy like a fly on shit

Now that's a disgusting post title but hey who cares it's MY blog.

I am having a busy week, both personally and work wise.

Taking my mother to lots of medical appointments and juggling meetings, clients and proposals and more!

Work and new projects are all coming out of the woodwork and I am very excited by this.

I interviewed two people for the new role, and just my luck the one I liked took another role the day after I interviewed, so I am back to looking again.

It's a real pain in the butt and I am thinking of making the role full time instead and going for broke with it.

I will have to weigh up my options over the weekend on this one though.

It is just beautiful weather in Sydney right now and I am looking forward to getting out of the office later and having a nice quiet dinner on the roof with some friends ...

Monday, October 26, 2009

And it just goes on

Over the weekend my mother ended up back in hospital with what was initially diagnosed as another stroke.

Luckily it was later found out to be nothing other than extreme anxiety which had manifested itself as all the physical and cognitive symptoms of a stroke without the actual bleed in her brain.

It is truly just a constant up and down at the moment with this, one moment my mother is perfectly OK and then the next it's all on again.

It's extraordinarily stressful for everyone dealing with this, the uncertainty and emotion are very debilitating for everyone around her.

I of all people know how bad anxiety can be as well, but having worked my way through most of my anxiety issues and addressed them I am a bit less worried about my mother's anxiety and know that it will be sorted out by medication and help.

All this is taking it's toll on me and I can feel myself getting run down and know that I must take care of myself because I don't want to end up with a cold or just plain good old exhaustion myself.

On a lighter note I have interviewed a few really good people for the sales role that is open from my previous missing sales person and will make a decision on Wednesday.

I was hoping for a lighter than normal week but it seems to be a week of new clients and sales meetings which I am very happy about!

I just wanna grow grow grow my business.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The saga of employees

I employed a contract sales person a couple of months back for one of the streams of our business.

At first he was really great, he quickly closed a whole lot of deals that had been hanging around for a while almost ready to close.

But then something started to happen, he started to become erratic and there was an inconstancy in his work hours.

Sure it's a contract position so he was able to pick and choose which hours best suited the sales process and fit in to his own schedule of other things.

But in the last two weeks he came in on Monday of last week and hasn't come in again, his emails are not being returned and his phone is not being answered.

As a boss this is unacceptable, it's a bloody pain because we have clients almost about to close that have been through their needs with him and don't want to do it all over again.

Now starts the process all over again of finding someone and training them up on our systems and the product.

I am pretty fair and even handed and hope he hasn't ended up in a ditch somewhere, but I have a sneaking suspicion he has just done a runner.

It is likely that he has the office line and my mobile in his phone and that's why he is not answering his phone

Anyway - such is life!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Is anyone else exhausted?

I don't know about you but I am exhausted at the moment.

hours and hours of detailed concentration at work every day (and some nights), work on the weekends and the stress of my mother have all made me pretty exhausted.

I haven't had the energy or the motivation to get back to the gym. I know that if I do go I will feel better, but it's getting that initial motivation to get to the gym. At the moment it's just not happening!

On the upside I am able to concentrate again at work and buckle down and get loads and loads done, but by 9 O'clock at night all I want to do is just collapse on the sofa with a Vodka and watch mindless TV.

It might just be me getting old LOL

Or it might just be that I have a lot on my plate.

On other good news a friend from the States is coming over to stay with us in late December, I love spending time with my international friends and am very excited!

Monday, October 19, 2009

I am still alive thank you

I am very much alive, even if I have not posted in the last week and a half or there about.

My mother is back home after her stroke and is now resting, she has good days and hard days.

Whilst the effects of the stroke were minor in terms of physiology, any brain injury is serious and is a symptom of her aging process.

It's difficult addressing the very real mortality of anyone let alone your parents, but by the same token it also reminds you to not take anything or anyone for granted.

My mothers cognitive skills and her memory have become markedly lower in the last couple of months and it's distressing watching this up close but must be even harder for my father.

But on the up side of the aging process and forgetting, she will 'forget' she is forgetting and become more relaxed and less anxious in general.

For me though this is a very stressful time, and I have been reacting to this in a very predictable for me way.

Whilst my mental concentration is lower than normal and I have been finding it hard to concentrate on 'normal' work. I have been doing what any Cancerian does and 'Nesting'.

I have totally redone the office with new furniture and cleaner more streamlined fit-out and have been cleaning out draws and cupboards at home.

At home as well I have been tackling all those small physical DIY tasks that I have been meaning to do.

It's a normal psychological response to external influences that you can't really control, instead you do things to try and control your own physical surroundings.

At the moment it's just one day at a time and keeping to routines and getting stuff done.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

it's been a tough few days

On Thursday night my mother was diagnosed with a 'cerebero-vascular accident' or in laymen's terms a stroke.

At nearly 80 years of age she is no stranger to the ups and downs of various medical issues that parents face, from open heart surgery to hip replacements to the general to the malaise that affects older people.

There has been a steady decline in both my parents physical and metal health over the last couple of years.

This however is the first stroke that we have faced with them and it's scary. Heart Attacks caught early and then treated are much much easier to fix, you put a stent in, do a bypass, all sorts of things.

But the treatment for a bleeding stroke is far more hit and miss, they reverse the blooding thinning agents that my mother takes to prevent clotting type strokes and heart clots and instead used clotting agents to try and stop the bleed.

She is relatively confused at the moment and is pretty damn lucky that they picked the stroke up very early on, the bleed was properly happening for between 1 - 7 days. Which means the chances of recovery are good.

The initial symptoms of naseua have now passed, but the confusion remains, but it's so hard to tell whether this is the onset of dementia or a result of the brain injury.

My mother is an amazing person, she will compartmentalize things and not tell all of a story to someone. In this case she had been suffering with feeling ill for a bout a week and had been to the Doctor a couple of times for this.

But she had failed to mention to either the Doctor or myself that she had been stuttering or feeling weak, both extremely common signs of some sort of stroke.

I was getting frustrated with her because what she was describing to me was stress and anxiety manifesting itself with physical symptoms. However she was intentionally not giving me all the information.

Whether she recognized these things in herself and was intentionally not saying (my grandmother had had a series of strokes before she died nearly 30 years ago), or she was being 'confused' I don't know.

If all goes well and the bleeding has stopped properly she will be out of hospital by mid to late next week, but this is unlikely to be the end of this episode.

She has to go back on the blood thinning agents to protect her heart, which means she will be at risk again of having one of these episodes, there is also likely to be some subtle motor skill loss and maybe some cognitive difficulties (or is this just onset of dementia) at the moment it's a waiting game.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Support the Troops - buy them a Mankini!

I am all for supporting our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, especially when they get dressed in such provocative outfits!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

You know it's the Sleaze weekend when...

You see bright orange gay boys walking down Oxford Street

People are wearing less and less even in the pouring rain

There are people singing and dancing to Britney in the street (even though there is no music)

The week before the gym is packed with people you have never actually seen before and it takes forever to get on to any of the machines

People are still walking up and down the strip still in the same clothes they started out on Saturday evening (it's Tuesday now)

Seriously though the long weekend was a blast and Pool Party at the Ivy would have been spectacular if it wasn't for the rain.

The Ivy is a great venue and I really enjoyed it for the very first time! One thing I have realised is the whole Fag Tag concept of moving around to new venues is a really great idea, otherwise I would never experience some of these great places!

I was pretty disappointed by Sleaze, the production values, sound and lighting was nowhere near as fantastic as past parties, I still think New Mardi Gras has to do better for their parties and not just compete on their longevity and name.

Still I did have fun!
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